University

I must say I have been procrastinating a lot on my university application. The last time I did any application to a university was in 1996. I only applied to one university when I was looking for a university in the US.

Back then when I was studying in KDU doing the American University Transfer Program (AUTP), I didn't know which university to apply too. Two of my friends were also doing the same major as me, Siva and Kay. Kay said she was applying to St. Cloud State University as one of our senior Fiona was also studying there doing what we wanted to do. So I said, "okay, that'll do, I'll go there".

I couldn't afford all the dream universities I really wanted to go too like NYU or UCLA. Back then, I frankly didn't even know where St. Cloud was. I when to the resource centre in KDU and looked up the map for Minnesota. All I saw was that it was near the great lakes. I thought, "Cool, it's got water nearby".

My parents didn't agree with my choice at first, telling me it was going to be really cold. I thought to myself, "Ah, cold ain't so bad... after all, I've been to Genting, sounds like fun!" Man, sometimes I wish I would have listened to my parents back then. They even got my aunt to come over to explain to me about winter. My aunt said, "winter is so cold, even your jeans wouldn't be enough, you would have to wear something under it." I thought it sounded silly... wear something under your jeans? What? So hot already some more want to wear stuff under it ah? Where can?

Anyway, I send of the university application and crossed my fingers and waited for a reply. I didn't tell my parents it was the only university I applied too. Hey, it was St Cloud State University. No one had even heard of it, they wouldn't reject me right? If I was applying to NYU then maybe I'll start putting out applications to other universities. So foolhardy of me.

After a long wait, I got my acceptance letter... woohoo! I took the I-20 letter and when to the embassy to get my visa. Back then security wasn't as tight as it was now. So there were the 3 of us... me, Siva and Kay that got accepted to the same university. Of all the dumb thing, we all applied to go in the winter quarter. While most university had the semester system, SCSU was still using the quarter system (quarter system divided one academic year into 4, while a semester system divided one academic year into 3).

So I when shopping for winter clothes. I found the cheapest red fluffy jacket I could find. I think I bought it at Isetan. I found a nice pair of gloves to go with it. I tried on the jacket and thought, "damn, so hot wearing this... I think this is over kill".

Soon, the time came to leave. Back then, we still used to old Subang airport. Wasn't too far a drive from my house. Only a handful of my friends came to see me of. Back then it was a tradition to send of all those from AUTP who were leaving for the US. However, I was in KDU for almost 2 years so almost all my friends had already left by then. Me and Siva got on the plane and flew to Changi airport in Singapore to meet up with Kay.

It was quite a long flight and I don't remember much. We transit in Narita in Japan and then in LA then to Minneapolis, the capital of Minnesota. When we touched down at Minneapolis. I walked out of the plane and into the tunnel connecting the plane to the terminal. I saw a crack in the joint and it was full of ice. I looked out the winter and it was snowing heavily. I thought to myself, "hrmm, a bit chilly here... just like Genting at night!".

So we all walked of to wait for the connecting flight to take us to St. Cloud (it was actually only 1.5 hours drive away). Like flying from KL to Melaka! It was a small plane, kind of like what Air Asia uses so we had to walk out to the tarmac. We were all excited as we were finally going out into the snow. We put on our jacket, gloves and head gear. I was thinking, "cool! finally get to experience winter!". There weren't many people waiting for the plane. Was only a handful of people. When they opened the door and we walked out, this extremely cold blast of air hit me in the face. I could instantly feel the chill going straight through my extremely "thin" winter wear. We all ran to the plane giggling. I managed to scooped up some snow while running to the plane to examine the texture of it. I thought, "aik, just like the frost in the freezer yah!"

While we were sitting in the plane on the tarmac, the pilot announced there was a slight delay as they had to de-ice the wings of the plane. Damn, there was a heavy snowstorm and the flaps of the plane was all frozen over. As the plane was going down the runway, it was really bumpy and that was really scarry. Through out the flight, it was really bumpy because of the snow storm. I kept worrying whether the flaps of the plane would freeze over. I looked out the window and all I saw was white.

Even though it was only in the afternoon, it was already pitch black as evening comes early in winter. When we finally landed in St Cloud, it was a really small airport. It was modern, but small. Kinda reminded me of the Ipoh airport back then. Fiona was there with a few of her friends to greet us. I was glad we had someone to pick us up, because the airport was a really lonely place. On the drive back to campus, I looked out the window and everything was just white. I couldn't tell the building from the trees or from the cars. It was still snowing heavily and sitting in the car, I was already shivering as I wasn't able to move.

Later only did I found out that the temperature was between -25F to -30F. The news report said it was colder than the weather in the Antarctica. Damn, straight from hot sweaty Malaysia to -25F St. Cloud.

The state of journalism

I’ve been reading a lot of articles and blogs about journalisms. I find that in Malaysia, most journalist are not really trained to be journalists but have ‘fallen’ into the profession by chance or for the sake of trying something different.

I still call myself a broadcast journalists. I’ve been absolutely lucky in the fact that I had the opportunity to study in the American university system. I believe it’s the best system to train one to be a journalists. Why you might ask? Well, for one, a journalist is a Jack of all trades, master of none. He has to have a broad view of everything. In the American university system, one is encouraged (and sometimes required if you’re a journalism major) to take up various courses outside of the field of mass communication, which journalism falls under.

While I was looking up a copy of my university transcript I looked back at the classes I have taken and looking back I’m glad I took those classes even though some of it I barely scrapped through with a C (okay, I admit, I failed one!). In my first semester in uni, I took the history of Rock & Roll for my music class. I know, it sounds totally frivolous but trust me, I appreciated it so much now. When ever I try to pick a song when I’m editing something, I look back at the various genres of music that I have learned and know at least where to start searching. I still beam with pride every time I see the A that I got for the class. The professor graded the class of about 200 students on a bell curve so only about 10 students got an A. I was so into the class I totally forgot I hated studying.

A good journalist would have a strong interest in the humanities like psychology, sociology, economics and also geography. Originally, I wanted to be a psychologist and I took quite a number of classes in that field but eventually I thought I might end up like Hannibal Lecter, using my knowledge for evil instead (okay, that was a bit paranoid). I find that the psychology and sociology classes really useful in the sense that it helped me better understand society and people better. I forgive people’s for their actions better because I understand sometimes they don’t have control over their anger, its their personality trait.

I took geography with my roommate Klye one semester and I only managed to get a B. The class was a really basic geography class where the professor just showed us a map of the world and named every major city and that was our test. Looking back, now I know most obscure countries or capital cities.

Sometimes I wonder how come I was never interested in all these subjects when I was in secondary school. I did miserably in the science stream but yet, I loved studying history and biology on my own.

Anyway, going back to what makes a good journalists. I think ultimately, a good journalists should be a good story teller. The journalism profession is a continuation of the old profession of the bard… the journeying story teller who sang about the people he has met. He has to tell his story in an interesting way and also know what would interest his listeners.

The journalism industry is an industry only for those really passionate about it. Those who enter it with other intentions or glorified and romanticized views of it don’t last long. They don’t last more than 3-5 years in the industry.

When I audition or interview people who want to enter the industry, what I look most for is passion… the desire to make the world a better place. Deep down, I want to find someone to take over my work when I’m not around anymore and hopefully, they’ll find someone just as passionate as they are. The learning curve is quite high for those without the academic background, but I still believe passion is what is most important.

I rather have someone prove me wrong and who can argue passionately about issues with me in an interview. Looking back, that was what I exactly did in my job interview. Maybe that’s what got me hired.

Tell me you believe that the world can be a better place and you can help and you might have a job.

Tahun Babi

I haven’t been writing for a while. Not that there wasn’t anything to say or I was too busy. It’s just I realize some things are best left unsaid.

It’s been the usual Chinese New Year. My relatives from my father’s side came over on the eve and everyone brought a dish for the pot luck dinner. I’m rather lucky they do it at my house as I get to hide in my room once it gets a little too hectic. I can see some of my cousins dozing of on my couch or looking bored.

Everyone was watching the video I shot at my grandmother’s 80th birthday last month. My grandmother kept watching it over and over again last night. Everyone had a good laugh watching themselves. I guest I’m jaded when it comes to watching stuff on TV, too used to it.

Today, the whole clan came over again today for lunch. I woke up really late, at 11:30AM and I could hear people arriving already outside my room. I was watching a DVD last night so I slept really late. I jumped into the shower and when I came out, everyone was discussing about lunch. I think there was a problem with the logistics, because there was a miscommunication about the food. Looks like no one brought the lunch and in the end we ended up eating last night’s leftover. My aunt brought over 4 boxes of pizza but by the time, everyone was done eating already.

Everyone else settled down to a game of cards. I don’t gamble or drink alcohol so I wandered of to my room. I took a nap and by the time I woke up, everyone was gone already. I like celebrating my Chinese New Year like that… sleeping. Its about the only time I get to rest.

As I said before, I don’t talk to my relatives that much. I find it hard to open up and share my life with them, or with anyone else for that matter. Today my uncle asked if I had any superglue. I ransacked my toolbox but only found glue for rubber & plastic. I asked them what the glue was for and they said it was for her shoe that came apart… ah, the perfect glue to use. My mother wasn’t too pleased I was fixing her shoe and I got another angpow for my uncle.

I’m not overtly superstitious about things like this. I only respect tradition only to please my parents and those around me. However, I do go against tradition if its against practicality. For instance, fixing my cousin’s shoe. I had giving her the glue, she might have ended up gluing herself to the shoe. Better I do it instead.

This year, no one wants to mention it’s the year of the pig on TV in Malay. The pig is so offensive, it’s a taboo word for most Muslims. Now here’s a fact you can run away, the pig is an integral part of the Chinese culture (though, I must say its not an important part of the Buddhist world). When they have an animal sign named after an animal 50% of the Malaysian population find in disgust, it’s a huge dilemma. I wonder how broadcasters handled this problem 12 years ago (an animal sign is rotated every 12 years).

What we do now is we just mention its Chinese New Year and we don’t specifically mention it’s the year of the pig. However, I do relish wishing my friends “selamat tahun babi” just to see their reaction.

I remember the dialog between Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta in Pulp Fiction about pigs. I looked it up on the internet and found this:

Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not? Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals. Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own faeces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

I always remember John Travolta saying “Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.” Everytime someone tells me I shouldn’t eat pork, I say that line with a little modification, “Bah Kut Teh taste gooood. Char Siew taste gooood”. Anyway, haven’t been eating much pork lately, all these fear of chemicals in it has turn me of plus there’s just too much fat in the pork I eat.

Selamat Tahun Babi kepada semua orang!

Global peace

Uploaded by luxen
I shot this at the Global Peace Forum at PWTC. I read about it in the papers a few weeks before the event. The thing was suppose to start at 9AM and Norzie wanted to hitch a ride with me to the place. She called and said we'll meet in the office at 7:30AM.

I woke up at 6AM to send Chui Yan to the LRT station at 7AM. Reached the office at 7:30AM and Norzie just woke up, we finally left the office at 9AM and reached PWTC at 9:45AM, 5 mins after Tun Dr. Mahathir started his speech. Missed the first part of the presentation. We ran into Sufi, Tun's press secretary on the way up the escalator, he help lead us through the security in the hall.

There was a lot of camera crews (still and video) when I went into the hall. They were all crouched in front of the stage taking his picture. I thought what the heck, since I brought my new camera along I did that too. There was a bunch of VIP's sitting behind me as I crouched in front of them shooting visuals of the stage and Tun.

The hall was fully packed with people. There were people of different nationalities everywhere. They started adding chairs for the other reporters that were standing. I sat down next to this lady who whispered to me that their were no foreign diplomats in the hall and I pointed out the front VIP seats that they might be seating there instead. Awhile later, she whispered that they were clapping for Tun. I thought that was amusing that she's such a pro Tun supporter. I got up to go shoot more visuals and then sat next to Ifa who was there with Anwar to report on the event for my show.

After Tun finished his speech, we when of to the press centre to watch the rest of the presentation. I saw a lot of bloggers there in the press room on their laptop. Even Malaysiakini was there editing their video. I had the most horrid piece of Roti Canai. I think it was a defrosted Roti that was heated up. It was hard and tasteless. Norzie pointed out to me this kwailo reporter that was seating with us. She was eating the roti canai too except that she had spread the curry very carefully on top of the roti like jam to eat it. The roti was so hard, it was like toast.

After that, we when to the opening the war crimes exhibition by Tun. They let in all the VIP's first and asked some of us to wait. There was a few old dudes wearing tags that said 'Participant' and were getting inpatient finally they pushed their way in saying they were with the press. I thought, fuck it, I really am with the press and I walked in too. Earlier, I had given my media tag away to the Harakahdaily reporter, she needed it more than me. I was already wearing my company vest and holding a video camera. I think it goes without saying, I'm most probably with the press.

Who ever did the exhibition on the war crimes were really good at it. It was really graphic, they had a sign out there saying no entry to those under 12 years of age. There was a lot of disturbing images in there. They had people screaming playing on a loop over the speakers. Just a few months ago, in the same exhibition hall, I was there for the UMNO's exhibition on Rancangan Malaysia Ke-9 and they had astronauts and what not. Now, the hall was totally different and it turned into a house of horror. There was part of the exhibition with strobbing lights and I felt faint walking through it. Those with epilepsy problems should avoid that area.

At the end of the exhibition, they played John Lennon's Imagine. You could still hear the screaming from the other speakers and the song was playing from a different speaker... was wierd.

After all that gore, Norzie said she was starving so we when back to the press room to find lunch. The rest of the 'pirahnas' had already eating almost all of the beehoon. There was just enough for half a serving so I gave that to Norzie. After awhile, it was time to go interview two of the speakers.

We spoke to this former Democrat senator. She was just dripping with praise for Tun. For a Malaysian to hear what she was saying, it was a bit out of this world. Another lady we interviewed was this scientist who did research on Depleted Uranium. She was an odd lady... I'm not sure if she was always like that or she changed after 'finding' herself after getting harrassed because of her research. She said she was a quaker and she supported both sides of a conflict. I was holding the microphone in my hand and thinking, "yeah... right. whatever! So this could be another side effect of Depleted Uranium".

The lady was trying to explain the side effects of Depleted Uranium (DU). She said, the radiation has been blown by the wind to every part of the planet and that is why there is an increase in breast cancer and also diabetics in worldwide and also regions closest to the warzone. She said there was no cure and nothing we can do about it now except prevent futher use of DU. I thought, "fuck, we're all going to die! Damn you Bush for using DU ammo!". I asked her then where was the safest place to be on the planet and she said Malaysia would be a good place since we're on the equator. She said how the wind patterns work, the DU would be the least around the equator.

Though I'm a bit sceptical about all her correlation between cancer, diabetics, low sperm count and DU, it is a scarry thought if it was true. Ini semua salah orang Amerika!

Old & New

Uploaded by luxen

Norzie and I when to the Global Peace Forum at PWTC and we ran into their MC, Wan Zaleha Radzi. It was the meeting of the old and new host of M3. Cool isn't it?

Spiderman Toy



Spiderman Toy
Uploaded by luxen

I saw this singing Spiderman toy in Parkson at 1 Utama. They're selling it to toddlers, it sings and dances. There's something so wrong about this Spiderman.

The 'V' word

Been trying to blog but the internet at home is really slow. I think it has something to do with my router. My sister in law shares the bandwidth with me so sometimes she listens to those internet radio stations and that sucks up a lot of bandwidth. I couldn’t even log into my blog. Plus, my C: drive is dying of brain cancer. It’s got a bad sector that is slowly growing and every time I try to do anything important (playing Age Of Empires II is important okay!) it gives me a blue screen of death.

Anyway, today’s been a slow day at the office. I had lunch with a colleague who just came back from her Haj. She was there with her husband shooting a documentary. She’s trying to be a better person and I can see she’s definitely nicer now and of a better disposition than before. That’s good. She told me of the problems she had while shooting and I told her that maybe her God put that ‘person’ there with her as a test for her patience.

I personally don’t believe in God putting us through any challenges but the idea certainly tickles me funny that there is someone out there who is a total pain in your butt and his/her sole purpose is to make you a better person. “God put me on this earth to test you, hah!”

I opened my e-mail and there were a few requests for press coverage. One was about a spa and another was for vaginal reconstruction surgery and I could only cover one with the limited resources I have. Now this is the part of my job which I enjoy, playing the gatekeeper. I, as a ‘responsible’ media practitioner have to make sure that the society that I serve is well informed of its surrounding had to make an important decision which to give coverage. Plus, I’m also an asshole and a closet anarchists who love challenging society’s sensibilities. So guess which one is going to get press coverage?... Let’s just say about 1.5 million people out there in a few days time would hear the word ‘vagina’… or something similar on TV soon. “oh, no! did she just said the ‘V’ word on national TV?! The horror!”

Recently I when for my scholarship interview at the British High Commission. Their embassy had no parking within 400 metres. I had to park in Ampang Park and run across two major roads to get there. You would think an embassy so big and getting first dibs at any available land before handing it over to the natives would have reserved more land for itself… but no, they just bought up a small plot (by today’s standard of course) at Jalan Ampang.

The two ladies who interviewed me were extremely nice. Can’t remember their names now, I totally suck at remembering people’s name. It just enters short term memory and doesn’t store in long term unless I use it often. While I was waiting for the interview in their waiting room, I saw a newspaper clipping about Chevening that they hung on the wall. One of the person they interviewed mentioned how the candidates should let go their fears when they attend the interview. After reading that, I thought to myself, “fuck it, I’ll just be myself. If they’re going to give me a scholarship, it’s going to be because they appreciate who I am and not what I pretend to be”.

They were quite curious about what I do at work and asked me how do I decide who to put on the show. I didn’t have any prepared answers, so I told them that I was basically a liberal and I usually have guests that talked about social & legal issues that women didn’t talk about in the open. It’s a fine balancing act between giving airtime to the liberals and the conservatives.

They asked me if I do self-censorship. I said there were already existing censorship laws but it’s certainly more lax now compared to pre-Badawi’s administration. In any case there is a gray line that one cannot cross. It’s kinda like the waves lapping on a beach. The water line is not fixed. Sometimes, I like to run up to the water as the waves recede and run back just before the water touches me. Occasionally, I do get wet.

I told the two ladies interviewing me, most of my critics don’t know that I am a male and not a Muslim. Doing this program has certainly gotten me into situations other guys wouldn’t normally be in. Just a few minutes ago, I was talking to Triumph International and asking if they were interested to donate underwear to the flood victims. The lingerie business is huge in Malaysia. Triumph runs the most glamorous fashion shows. Anyway, I’m digressing. Triumph would be for another blog

Fikrah DR SALAM

Occasionally I go through the Utusan newspaper website for research. Most of the time, I get distracted and read the other sections. I especially like to read the part where their readers write in with their problems. Totally hillarious. The newspaper gets away with a lot of things TV can't do. Below is one particular article.

Haram keluar mani sendiri

APAKAH hukum seorang suami mengeluarkan mani kerana tidak tahan dengan nafsu syahwat bagi mengelakkan perzinaan? Ini kerana isterinya datang haid terlalu lama iaitu sehingga dua minggu, malah sudah tidak berminat lagi dengan hubungan kelamin, sedangkan suaminya masih sihat.

CHE KOB Putrajaya.

ANTARA hikmat perkahwinan ialah untuk memenuhi tuntutan nafsu semulajadi manusia secara sah. Malah, perhubungan antara suami isteri melahirkan ketenangan jiwa raga dan menghindari perkara haram seperti zina dan sebagainya.Allah berfirman dengan maksud: “Dan di antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaan-Nya dan rahmat-Nya, bahawa Dia menciptakan untuk kamu (wahai kaum lelaki), isteri-isteri dari jenis kamu sendiri, supaya kamu bersenang hati dan hidup mesra dengannya, dan dijadikan-Nya di antara kamu (suami isteri) perasaan kasih sayang dan belas kasihan …” (Ar-Rum (30): 21). Apabila isteri dalam keadaan uzur, suami sepatutnya mengawal keinginan nafsunya. Bagaimanapun dalam keadaan haid suami masih dibenarkan tidur dan bermesra dengan isteri tetapi tidak sampai ke tahap persetubuhan.Dengan itu kehendak seksual suami dapat dipenuhi. Isteri boleh meredakan nafsu suami dengan mengeluarkan mani suami. Tindakan suami mengeluarkan mani secara sendiri tidak baik kerana dilarang agama. Allah berfirman dengan maksud: “… Dan mereka menjaga kehormatannya kecuali kepada isteri atau hamba sahaya, maka sesungguhnya mereka tidak tercela. Kemudian, sesiapa yang mengingini selain dari yang demikian, maka merekalah orang yang melampaui batas.” (Al-Mu’minun (23): 5-6).Selain itu, alternatif bagi suami yang mempunyai isteri uzur dan tiada nafsu lagi, ialah memilih untuk berpoligami jika mampu.



I know what my reaction was when I was reading this. What was your first reaction when you read this?

blogging in the office again. Had a long day today. Had a show to produce today. After that, I was going to go to the British Council to hand in some letters but I found out I passed the dateline after calling them. They told me to just bring it to the interview tomorrow instead... phew!

Since I had time on my hand and I was already out of the office, I met up with Chermaine and Naz at Bangsar. Chermaine came in a sexy gym outfit and I could see she was turning heads as she walked towards our table. Naz finally got me my batman t-shirt from Australia. The Batman logo was a little smaller than I expected. Oh well, it would do!

We talked about about new projects to work on and relationships. We talked about how after work, all we want to do is just go home and do nothing because we're out and about during work. We're the total opposite of people with desk jobs who would want to party after work. Normally after work, the only thing I want to do is see Chui Yan and have dinner with her. Occasionally, we go out shopping. Anything more, and I'm too pooped.

Surprisingly, most of the ladies I know from work who are hot are still single. Most of them are still single because they're so busy, they don't have time to go on dates or men are too intimidated to ask them. I find it quite intimidating to talk to pretty ladies too even though I do it at work. It takes me awhile to get used to looking at them. They're just so good looking, I don't want to look like I'm staring at them so I avoid eye contact at first. Hrmm... can't say the same for the guys that I work with though.

Most of the babes I work with, I keep it all at a strictly professional basis... especially the single ones. I know its so easy to get distracted... and tempting too! It gets easier when I know the person more and I get pass the looks as you know the person's plus and minus traits. Then they turn into a real 'person' instead of just a hot looking sex object.

I think one of the most embarassing situation I was in was when for a wardrobe fitting in Starhillwith one of my host. We were in a really expensive botique and the manager recognized my host and ask her to try on a really expensive dress as she wanted to see what it looked like on someone with her figure. She came out of the changing room in just a scarf over her bra as a top and asked me if she looked okay. I said, "err, you look good but not for TV". She used to be a model so I guess she's used to doing that. It was my first time.

When I was student, I had to interview a classmate of mine who was in a play. She invited me into the changing room to do the interview. I was setting up the camera and there she was stripping to her underwear in front of me and the rest of the actress was doing the same. I was standing there thinking, hrmm now should I be here? Turns out, the previous play they staged. It had full nudity in it. I would have liked to see that!

The scene outside my room every afternoon. All 3 of my nephew and nieces asleep. Like cocoons. I have to sneak out everytime I come out of room so I don't wake them up.

bloody hell, had to wake up damn early today. My maid did something to my fan, I don't know how she got water in it while cleaning the fan. Now it makes a sound when I turned it on. I had to sleep last night without the fan and I'm not used to just using the airconditioning. I woke up at 4AM. Oh well, I already had the clock set for 5AM anyway. I had wake up early to go to Victoria Institution to interview a Guru Cemerlang.

I brought my new camera along today to take it for a field test. I was watching the kids lined up in the morning. Man, VI is like a military institution. The prefects were barking orders and they even marched up the stairs together. I don't remember any of that stuff in my school. I ate at their tiny school kanteen. I realized as I was ordering my food, I haven't eaten in a school canteen in years! It was wierd and nostalgic, even though it wasn't my school canteen. The kids at VI are really polite to their teachers. I never had that at my school. Kids at VI are from a different planet I tell you... they're all so polite, eager to learn and all. What the hell have they been feeding them at the school? The teachers at the school are really good too. Damn, I when to the wrong school!

Anyway, I'm kind of pissed. After the assignment, I when to have a drink with Azizah at my office cafeteria and I realized the windshield for my mic was missing. I think I dropped it between the makeup room and the cafeteria and some idiot picked it up. What really gets to me is that, the windshield is totally useless to anyone else and there's no reason for them to keep it. Now I've got a naked mic. Anway, I gotta get a proper mic soon. This one is just way too long to fit onto my camera.

I wrote to an old school friend in friendster. I haven't heard from Gerard in years and I found him in Friendster. Looks like both of us put on quite a lot of weight since school. The guy's now a pharmacist in UK. I don't know why, but I know at least 4 pharmacist friends, and two of them are close friends. Gerard was always the smart kid. In his e-mail, he talked about how he remembered sitting across from me in primary school and I thought, "whoa... you remember that? I don't even remember going to primary school with you!"

I realize my school going years is a total blank. No wonder I don't have many friends. I haven't stayed in touch with any of my schoolmates. I was always the new kid in school and fitting in was hard. I when to 2 kindergardens; 2 primary schools; and 2 secondary schools. I guess I never really fitted in well and I was glad I left school. School life... total blank.

Then again, I hardly stay in touch with friends from college or uni either. I'm just zooming by life with such intense speed, I'm not latching on to anything. Friends, aquaintances, people I know are just zooming in and out of my life.

I need more male friends, almost all my friends are female. Females are easier to be friends with. They're so much more in tune with sensitivities.

Chui Yan says I should have new year resolutions. I never liked them because I never stuck to any. Okay, this time I'll try making up a short lists:

1. Look up old friends
2. make money with my camera! Yeah!
3. learn a new editing system
4. exercise more
5. The most important one, to be a good Buddhist.

I guess being a good Buddhist says it all. It encompasses everything.

First time I'm blogging from the office. It's after office hours, so I don't feel so guilty doing this. It has been an interesting morning. Yesterday I asked my General Manager to write a referral letter for me for my scholarship application. This morning when I came to work and opened my e-mail, I read the letter he wrote for me. My first reaction I think was having my face turn red. He really wrote a glowing letter about me.

I wrote a reply to his e-mail


wow, is that me? Anyway, thanks.

Ooi

A few minutes later, he replied my e-mail with this

30% of what I said is the language used to recommend someone for something, the rest is youlahhh.

I had a good laugh, basically what he's saying is "1/3 bullshit, the rest is real". I won't reveal the contents of the referral letter here until the scholarship committee has read it.

I also asked my CEO if he could write one for me. He didn't have the time, so ended up asking my GM to help my CEO to write on my behalf again.

Today was a big day. I finally got the guts to ask for something I've been thinking about for a long time. I finally set in motion something I've been thinking about for a long time. Its quite a major career change which I can't say anything yet until it's confirmed. I hope I get approval!

Satisfaction

I can't get no... satis.faction... I can't get no... satis.faction.

Damn, I love that song. Something about the Rolling Stone classics that gets your head bouncing. Today's been a long day and it was quite a meaningful day.

For the past few days, I've been busy shooting Wardina's sister (Mas) wedding. Today was the wedding at noon at KLGCC. I stayed up pretty late the whole night just editing and rendering. I fell asleep while waiting for it to render. I was keeping my fingers cross this machine wouldn't suddenly pick this moment to have a blue screen of death.

I finally burned the DVD's an hour before I was supposed to be at the banquet hall. Turns out I was early after all. The only one who was there was the MC's, Inaz and Gib. It was only an hour and a half later that the wedding started. I shot interviews with friends and family members of the bride and bridegroom. It was pretty humorous listening to what they said. Their habits, what they are like, etc. Listening to them talk made me realize I don't have any childhood friends. I've been moved around so much with my family, I never actually stayed in touch with any of my childhood friends. Heck, I don't have any friends from secondary school even.

Come to think of it, besides the people I know at work, I don't have any real friends left outside of work. I need to know more people besides from work. I've been scouring friendster to see if there were anyone else I knew from primary or secondary school. Not much luck there. I guess maybe the reason why I didn't stay in touch was because I never really had a good time in school. I just kept going into the future until I reached this point when I realize that life is all about gathering experiences until death.

Anyway, everyone liked the videos at the wedding. I'm glad they did. I was worried they wouldn't like it since I had to make quite a few changes the day before the wedding. Okay, next time, I'm giving only two previews and that's it, after that no more changes!

Right after the wedding, I drove home and the first thing I did was take all my clothes of and play an hours worth of Age of Empires II. Man, that was really satisfying until I got a blue screen of death on my PC. Damn PC shut down just as my army was all ready.

After that, I had to go pick Chui Yan up to go to my grandmother's 80th birthday dinner celebration at Amcorp Mall. We thought we were late by 15 mins but turns out, everyone else was late. We sat next to my grandmother's sister and she was grumbling she was waiting really long. It was the first time I've seen all my relatives from my father's side together. My cousins all looked really different. My two cousins who are not studying in Australia are in their early 20's now but to me, they still look like little girls, which is amusing.

Chui Yan was asking me about my cousins and I honestly didn't much. I guess I find it hard to talk to relatives. Sometimes they feel like strangers, just because you have the same genes you're supposed to talk to each other. I know, this sounds absolutely mean but I sometimes find making conversation with relatives hard because I don't know what to talk about other than the food, weather and what they are doing now. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them, I just don't know what to say.

I brought along my new video camera. I was using it the past two weeks shooting the wedding interviews. I brought it along to get some practice shooting it at a chinese banquet. Settings and shots are little different. I don't know why, but when I shoot personal events, my shots are a whole lot shittier when I do it for work. I end up panning and zooming in and zooming out of shots... something I definitely don't do for work. I haven't watched what I shot yet, I'm too embarass to download to the PC right now.

I was shooting my grandmother talking to her friends and it made me realize that there's so much more to life than just work. There are relatives, friends and other things that are important too because when you reach 80 and you look back, you want something to be proud of. Sure, you can be remembered for being damn good at your job, but you also want to be remembered for the personal relationships you have with others. Humans are social creatures. We have hopes, dreams, inspirations and aspire to great heights.

I just watched a pretty cool movie, "Life or Something Like It" with Angelina Jolie playing a ditzy female broadcast journalist. I like watching movies about broadcast journalist. Somehow, I just identify more with the movie. In the movie Angelina learns from a street prophet that she will die in one week and she starts examining her life. She ask her fiancee what is it that binds them together, do they have the same hope and inspirations. Makes me look back at myself and ask what are my hopes and inspirations. What is it that I don't tell others that I force myself to bury down so I can fit in with others.

Anyway, Angelina finally lets loose and finds that she is been rewarded for her eccentric behaviour. I think back and damn, I used to be like that too. I used to think to hell with it, this is a shitty job and I'll just say what's on my mind because I have nothing to loose. Somewhere along the line I changed. I stopped being such a bastard and be more sensitive to other people. Sometimes, I miss being that bastard... sigh. I had drive then!

So, to sum it all up, today's been about celebrating life. When to a wedding, when to a birthday dinner and watched a movie about someone changing their life. Touching.

I was browsing through ahmoi and I came across a poem a wrote a long time ago. I used it as a filter, those who are attracted to it or understood it are basically the type of people I wanted to talk too back then.

know not what I seek but I know I haven't found it yet.

I know not whether it be spiritual relevation, true love, bonding friendship, pleasure or world peace.

However I do know I am the seeker.

I am not lost, but I have yet to find.

I know I must find answers but I know not the questions to ask.

I wonder the land in search for the right questions to ask.

One day the right one will come to me then I would be able to find the answer.

I know I am not alone, for others to seek the questions and answers I seek.

They too are out there seeking.

Many perils await us, for many offer a universe of questions and answers but most likely, they are but just distractions.

Many seekers fall prey to the distractions, our journeys are full of victims, lost in their cause.

Tired but still wondering silently, trapped by commitments in their life, bound by life itself from seeking life.

I journey on.

I know not what awaits me, but I know I cannot turn back.

Langkawi!

Langkawi, here I come! Leaving on a morning flight tomorrow with Chui Yan for Langkawi for 3 days. We're going to be staying at Geo Park Inn at the Oriental Village. Going to be fun. I was contemplating whether I should bring the video camera. Alway feels like work when I have video camera around, having to take shots. Anyway, I chucked it in the bag. Hope it's going to be okay there. Brought only one tape though, should be more than enough I hope.

My bag is packed, hope I can still find my Langkawi map in my room somewhere...

My new Camera
I present to you, my new camera! Panasonic AG-DVC32EN. I love it's small form factor, small for a 3CCD camera with a 1/4 inch CCD. I've been waiting months to get it. I finally had the cash and I bought it for almost RM9K, including the XLR connector. I love this camera, since I already own a panasonic, it was easy to learn the menus. Now I finally get to do a lot of other stuff I wanted to shoot. Can't wait to use it tomorrow. Woohoo!

Anugerah Skrin Ke-8

This was pretty last minute, but an episode I produced got nominated for Bualbicara Terbaik for Anugerah Skrin Ke-8 (AS8). My manager told me he had submitted the episode a few weeks ago and I didn't think much about it until the producer of the AS8 came to see and gave me an invitation card and said I have to attend because I have to represent the program.

I was going to borrow something from wardrobe to wear since the dress code said suits for guys. I when to browse through the wardrobe department and didn't quite find anything fancy. That evening, I when to G2000 and Chui Yan helped me picked out a suit, a shirt and pants. Cost me Rm813 for the whole set. I like how it was made of Teflon... almost bullet proof man! My niece saw me wearing my suit and she got all excited and crawled up to my leg and started pulling my pants and wanted me to carry her. I was hesitant at first since she drools a lot but I can't say no to her. I think she was intrigued by the white shirt I was wearing.

Everyone was asking me what would I say if I won, so I thought about it and I thought about all the corny speeches I could have made like, "I dedicate this award too all the women out there, without you I wouldn't be here!" and I'll say it while pumping that heavy pewter award in the air. Another one I thought would get some extra corny points was, "I didn't expect to win, so I didn't prepare anything but I would like to thank..." and then I'll rattle on until they chase me of the stage. Hehe.

I got stuck in a huge jam on the way to PWTC. I thought I was going to be early but ended up 5 minutes late. I walked up from the basement and took the escalator all the way up. When I reached the reception then only I realized I left my invitation card at home. I thought, "shit, now I'm screwed". Knowing them, they're pretty strict on keeping the rift-raft's out of the hall with pretty tight security. I walked back around the public gallery all the way to the start of the red carpet and I saw a TV3 staff guarding one of the cordoned areas. I walked up to him, waved at home and got in pass to the red carpet. As I was doing that, the guards were pushing out 2 photographers without ID. At least the guards knew me by name and just waived me by.

I was standing there on the red carpet waiting for Chermaine. She called earlier to see if she could sit with me since she didn't know anyone there so I thought, sure, I didn't anyone else on the nominee list. I was standing on the red carpet with the camera crews watching them doing interviews, especially my trainee. All the female personalities got stopped and were asked who designed what they were wearing. Even Chermained had a new designer sponsor her for the night.

As me and Chermaine started walking towards the hall on the red carpet, some of the people in the public gallery were waiving and calling to us. Chermaine asked if the dude was a friend of mine and I said no, because I thought he was waiving at you. As we entered the hall, I suddenly realized that the dude might have been a fan calling us over to get our signature. That would have been pretty funny since we're both not particularly well known. Well, at least Chermaine's hot.

We set by the aisle seat at the front centre and I had a pretty good view of the stage. As people started walking up to the seats, I got to see them and some of the actors and actresses who recognized me said hi. The director of Ciplak sat with us, with his mother and friends. Even Datuk Kadir (the former information minister) shoke my hand, tipical politician. I was just staring into blank space and he so happened to walked into my line of sight and made eye contact with me so he extended a hand and I shook it.

The nice thing about live shows like this are that it starts on time because it's broadcasted live. I think today was behind by 2-3 minutes because they had to wait for the news to end. While we were sitting there waiting for the show to start, I told Chermaine, it felt like we were sitting in a bus on a long journey. We sat down at 7:15PM and it was going to end at 11PM.

The show started with Erra and Datuk Siti's duet. The sound system was awsome. The bass was literally shaking the hall. You could feel the sound waves going through you. The presenters were okay, Mastura had a pretty funny presentation.

Somewhere through the 3rd commercial break, I ran of to the toilet. When I came back, they wouldn't let me into my seat because the show started again. Those of us who came back late were just standing by the side of the hall waiting. In the Oscars, they have seat in's, people who would seat in your seat when you when to the loo so when the camera takes a wide shot of the people, there are no empty seats. I remember once during the Oscars, the camera fell on a celebrity couple trying to get back to their seats and they were complaining, "there's someone in my seat!" Was pretty funny.

When my category came up, I was pretty nervous. I didn't actually know who I was competing against. When I saw the nominees booklet then I thought, "damn!". They had Aznil in it and that's pretty much entertainment. I can't compete with that. Wrong talkshow category. True enough, Aznil won for an episode called "Kaki". Don't ask me, I don't know what it was about either. Well, there goes my chance to make any corny speeches. Wardina send me a pretty funny SMS after they gave out the award.

After the show ended, I hung around to chat with my colleagues. I asked Naz's gal if she was giving the evil eye to Fazura. She was practically sitting right in front of them at the podium watching Fazura flirt on air with him. Was pretty funny.

The director of Ciplak won for independent film. His friend was telling him, "well, now you've achieved the most you'll ever do in your life, you're 27 now. This is the highlight of your life!". Haha, I said "what, it's all down hill now isn't it?". Silly buggers.

There was a party after that, I didn't eat dinner yet so we when to grab a bite. While walking out of the hall, there were fans waiting for the stars to come out to take their pictures. There were a lot of transvestites waiting out there! I saw one wearing a small purple tank top and he/she wasn't wearing a bra. His/her C Cup tits were barely covered by the top. I didn't know whether to laugh or look away. Now it wouldn't be indecency now would it if it were man tits? I mean, it's okay for guys to go topless but what if the 'guy' had a C cup tits? My other colleagues were gawking away as well, one of them said, "hey, you stand next to him and I will pretend to take your picture together, but I'll actually zoom in on his tits so we can show others". I declined, I didn't want to be tagged to the transvestite.

At the party, there was a lot of networking going on. Everyone got to meet new talents and a lot of ideas were pitched very fasts. Winning an award gets you more recognition, for example the director of Ciplak met Lina Tan, from Red Comm. and they talked about movie scripts. I met a former host who asked about hosting. Was pretty interesting to see all the networking going on.

We finally left the party and I send Chermaine home. On the way home, we talked about production. I explained to her how producing a new show works since she's starting her TV career.

I have to admit, I don't watch much TV anymore. Before I when to the US to study broadcasting and film studies, I was a TV addict. I loved watching TV and films. Now, I don't do that much anymore, basically because I tend to watch it with a diferent perspective now. I look at everything from the technical point of view. For example, at the Anugerah Skrin, I was looking at the cameras instead to see what camera angles they used and the lights to see whether they were dimming it on cue. I was looking at the hosts and presenters to see if they were reading from their cue cards or doing it naturally. There isn't much of an illusion of entertainment anymore for me, now I just try to dissect everything I watch.

Better hit the sack, I got to wake up early tomorrow!

Me and Naz

The stage, after the show. It was a wonderfully designed 3D set, took them a week to build it. I think it cost almost RM60K. Well worth it.

This isn't a very flattering picture of me and Sheanee. My camera phone sucks in low light. Take my word for it, she look great that night.

Another photo of me and Sheanee

Me and Chermaine after the show ended. Her dress was pretty long and I accidentally stepped on it a few times. Sorry!

T Shake

I was standing outside my office trying to get a Maxis line and I looked at the guardhouse and saw this chick getting into a sports car and driving pass me. As the car came near I was thinking, "hrmm, who's this hottie driving this yellow sports car?". The car slowed down and the window when down and lo and behold it was Hannah Tan.

She was here for a press conference so I chatted with her while she was doing her hair in the makeup room. We talked about her new album, her personal life and the people we knew. I haven't seen her in a few months. She's such a sweet gal and it's too bad most guys don't see beyond her cleavage.

Hannah changed her phone number because she started getting wierd calls. I told her I called her old number once and it had a Jay Chou ringtone. Some chinese dude picked it up and said I had the wrong number and didn't knew who Hannah was... I should have said, "eh, Hannah lar... the Hannah Tan from FHM magazine, don't know ah?" haha. Poor guy, must have been getting a lot of wierd calls ever since he got that number.

Anyway, Hannah's been busy promoting her album. She's even got her fan club website www.hannahtclub.com (she's now know as Hannah T, branding lar babe). She got some really sexy pictures of her in a white bikini. You'll have to see her website to see what it looks like.

Hannah showing of her new album. Check out the sexy pose on the cover!

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

Sometimes in the office I make the most obscure joke and see how long it takes for people to get it. I was sitting down chatting with Azean and Azizah today and Azean commented on my thumb drive that was orange with black tiger stripe prints on it. I put my hand on my hips and said, "yeah, it matches my outfit". They both looked at me and my blue jeans and my grey shirt and I just grinned at them. I waited a second before I said, "you can't see it because I'm not wearing it outside" and then we all burst out laughing. I then quickly pulled up the leg of my pants to reveal my black socks and said, "I was going to say my socks but you all had a better mental picture in your head" and we all had an even bigger laugh. Hehe... hrmm, well that was basically the only high point of the day really.

Normally I don't mind courting controversy. Previously Harakah Daily questioned my motives for discussing Syariah Family Law on the show (they didn't know my name or who was producing that day). A few days ago, we talked about bisexuality on air. The psychologists emphasized that homosexuality and bisexuality was not a psychological disorder. They classify it as more of a personality trait. For example, one can be an introvert; extrovert; someone who is happy go lucky or just... gay. A few days later someone wrote to the Utusan saying that we were encouraging society to accept homosexuality and questioned whether all religions should accept homosexuality as it was still a sin. The guy then when of tangent and critisized the liberals in the country.

I was going to reply only the first 3 questions the guy had and not the other stuff that he started ranting about. The guy's ranting was only fit for a conservative Malay's ear which I won't repeat here. First of all, one can't really argue with science that much. The psychologist was giving his expert opinion. Ethics in religion would always differ from science. It may not be classified as a deviant behavior but religion can classify it as a sin. In Malaysia, we practice western medication and they do not have the same moral values shared by conservatives.

Another example would be the use of pigs in medicine. Vaccines made from pigs and also trial surgeries of pig liver transplant to human is totally against Muslim believes but acceptable to other people.

Anyway, we didn't want to make the situation worst by replying the guy on air. We just let it slide. National unity before pride... that sort of thing you know.`

I personally do not see homosexuality and bisexuality as a deviant behaviour. I still believe in one of Buddha's precept that one should avoid sexual misconduct. My definition of sexual misconduct would be sexual activity that would hurt others. Homosexual couples who do not harm anyone (including their family members and themselves) are perfectly okay in my mind. The same goes for someone who is a homosexual in power. As long as they don't abuse their power or force their views on me, that's okay (unless you're a former deputy prime minister... now that's a different story all together).

Anyway, I'll end this blog with a joke I read once. Jeremy finds himself in hell and trembling quietly in the corner wondering what hellish torture awaits him. A huge sized demon walks up to him with a smile and says "hey dude, how you doing? First time here? Don't worry, it's not as bad as you think!". Jeremy looks up trembling at the demon and stammers and ask, "w-what do you mean it's not as bad as you think? I'm in hell! I've been punished for my sins!". The demon says, "dude, look... in hell, you get to do all the sins and since you're already in hell, it can't get any worst". Jeremy's optimism is beginning to peak as the demon starts explaining more. "Hey, you like drinking?". Jeremy nods his head, "sure". The demon says, "oh, then you'll love Monday, that's our drink till you keel over day. How about sex with loose women?". Jeremy smiles and says "yes!". The demon says, "Ah, then you'll like Tuesday. How about smoking pot? and surfing for porn?" Jeremy by now is nodding his head excitedly. The demon pauses and ask, "oh yeah, do you like anal sex?". Jeremy stops and says, "errr... nope". The demon sighs and then says "oh, you're going to hate Fridays here."

Crossroads

Today quite 3 major life changing proposals were made. I made 1 proposal and someone else made 2 proposals to me.

I have been working over a proposal for a special project with a colleague. It's not the usual program I usually do but it's something I always wanted to do that I trully believed in. I've been rushing to try and finalize it to meet a few datelines. We had to apply for a grant for it from a foreign government who would sponsor us to visit their country and do the story there. Plus my colleague was going overseas for a few weeks too.

Not many people in my office knew that we were working on this proposal. Even the manager I report and the manager my colleague report too didn't know. Wasn't a secret, we just didn't bother to tell anyone. I only told those who asked me what I was working on, on a need to know basis.

Anyway, I took my proposal and when to see my General Manager this afternoon. I e-mailed it to him 5 minutes before seeing him. When I walked into his room he was going through the e-mail. While he was reading the proposal, my manager walked in and saw me in the room and quickly excused himself. Probably thought I had some personal problems to complain about haha... was quite funny. My GM told him to stick around but he didn't want too.

My GM basically asked me to go back to the drawing board. It wasn't as in depth as what he wanted. He wanted something more on a huge global scale. I gotta scratch my head where to find the money now. I wanted to save the world, my GM said that I can't do it. I'm optimistic... I have to try. I can't say anymore about what I'm working on until I get the grant.

Anyway, I chucked the proposal aside on my table and started staring into blank space and I hear an ex-colleague's voice. We had drinks at the cafeteria and he made a job proposal for me. It sounds very tempting. This is not the first time I was asked. The only thing that's holding me back is familiarity. Starting all over again is quite daunting. I'm so used to what I'm doing already at work, and I can let most things fly on auto-pilot.

Going over to another organization would mean getting to know new people. Talking to new people... heck, I barely started getting to know the people I already work with. It's so stressful meeting new people I tell you! Plus there are many conditional terms that I have to deal with if I were to take up the offer. The first is of course, finding my replacement; convincing those in charge to let me go and... the worst part is getting used to the totally new working hours.

After leaving the cafeteria, I opened my e-mail and I got an e-mail from someone I totally forgot about. I had initially given up hope but seeing the title of the e-mail got me thinking again about what I really want in life. It was an invitation to come for an interview for a scholarship that I've applied for. I did it half-heartedly. I read through the letter and it said I should have an offer letter from a university by know before the interview date on January 17. Damn it, that's one month away... and there's Christmas too! I wonder if I can get a place at a university by then?

The big question is... do I even want to continue my studies? So MANY major things I want to do next year. I have responsibilities I want to take on next year, I have to think about the ones I love too, what people expect of me... it's stressful.

By the way, I read Lilian Too's horoscope for my sign (snake) next year. It says travel is in store. Damn, I wonder where I'm travelling too? It also says I'm going to have weak finances. Better start reserving money quick.

I don't relish travelling for too long a period. I get a slight agoraphobia. When I was studying in the US, I used to have a strange dream just before I wake up. I used to dream I was back home in Malaysia sleeping in my bed and 'knowing' that I was back home again somewhere familiar. However, when I do wake up and open my eyes, in a flash it dawns on me I am so very far away from home. I can almost feel myself been pulled halfway across the planet, over continents and oceans in that moment to my bed in my room in a strange country. There I am lying there thinking, "here I am, all alone in a strange country. No one else to depend on but myself". I didn't really felt homesick but more of fear... the fear of being an adult and making my own decisions. Hrmm... I think I still have that fear today sometimes.

I was going to blog today but I got pissed. There's only so much I can take. It started out as a great day but it started going down hill later on. Better to go to bed and hope I forget my anger today.

The Onion Club

I was amused when I read how the Information Minister Datuk Seri Zainuddin Maidin said in Parliament that it was an uphill battle for RTM to attract viewers.

I think one of the reasons could be the Onion Club. I call it the Onion Club, because that's what the fans of Bawang Merah Bawang Putih (BMBP) are. It's one of the most successful Cinetron imported into Malaysia by TV3. Previously, that timeslot between 2:30-3:30PM was dominated by RTM... that is until we brought in the BMBP series. Now everyone's glued to the TV at that time. It was a pretty good gamble that paid of.

Anyway, 2 of the cast of the show came to the studios today to meet the fans. They're here for the Karnival Jomheboh. Judging from the size of the crowd that turned up at the office, I can only hope we have enough guards to protect those 3 poor souls from Indonesia.

The actress who played Bawang Merah's mother (the evil stepmother) told a funny story of how while during filming on set, a few ladies walked up to her and started hitting her because she was such a mean lady to Bawang Putih. I guess she was so good an actress some people just couldn't differentiate between reality and fiction.

The fans waiting for 2 of the casts to come onto the stage. The MC had to settle the crowd down first before a stampede occured.

The Onion Club banner

2 of the cast in the studio. Guess which host isn't a fan of the show?

Aerial view of the crowd. Frightening isn't it?

I read the story below while I was browsing through a Zen Buddhism book in MPH today.


Two monks were walking in the forrest. They came to a stream and saw a lady in a silk kimono trying to cross it without getting her beautiful kimono wet. The first monk walks up to her and carries her across the stream. The second monk did not say a word but couldn't get it out of his mind. As the monk made camp for the night, the second monk finally spoke to the first monk and told him "why did you touch that lady? As monks we cannot touch females". The first monk replied, "I left the lady at the stream, are you still carrying her?".


I like the story above. Really struck me as I was standing there in the middle of MPH reading it.

The Standupper

Today was the run around day. I got dragged out to Taman Tun by Norzie to help her pick between Celcom and Maxis. She's going to Mekah and wants to use the internet while on the move there. I'm pretty sure they don't have 3G there yet, but plenty of WiFi spots. Since she's got a Maxis number already, we when over to Maxis to change her pre-paid to a post-paid. With the rates being so competitive these days, it really doesn't make much of a difference anymore between the two.

There was an awfully long waiting line at the Maxis shop. We cheated (unintentionally) by taking the shortest number for a different counter to ask a mundane question and casually asked if they could do something else for us instead. Save us about 30 minutes of sitting around aimlessly.

She told me of the criticism she got at work and that got me thinking about journalism in Malaysia. I realize most broadcast journalists here didn't actually study this at college. They're missing a lot of the basic skills such as ethics, inquisitive skills and understanding the rules. Most of them do learn it after years of hands on experience. Those who did study it, including your's truly are a bit of an ass and view others (unintentionally most of the time) as below them. It's like a class system. In the end of the day, what really matter is the end results, getting the story out. I don't talk about what I learned in my uni anymore, less I sound like I'm bragging... however, I do want to improve the work of my colleagues.

I've started reading my college books again. They never really made sense until after I actually started working. I remember my first day on the job. I was tagged to a senior reporter and we when to a press conference of all places, at my father's former office. It was embarassing because some of his former colleagues knew me and I had to introduce myself to the rest of the wolf pack (the reporters from other media). The next day, I had to go out on my own already and I was trown straight into the deep end, it was either swim or drown. I had to go visit a family asking for help for their child who had a hearing problem. I kept thinking during the shoot, "shit, what if I f*ck up? what if this kid doesn't get the help he needs because I f*cked up? He'll be deaf forever all because of me!". I still remember how the parents were really calm when I first talked to them but when the camera was rolling and the microphone was in their face, their tears started rolling on cue. You might call it acting but I understand now a parent's determination to do anything for their child. A child's need is always more important than one's pride. The last I heard, I think the kid did get someone to sponsor a hearing aid. Well, I tried.

A lot of the things I learned in uni did pay of, all those months spend trying to learn the difference between in and out point; jump cuts; pan shots and cutting SOT's came naturally at work. Now I can sit comfortably in an edit room and edit or stand behind the shoulders of any editors and give credible advice. Sometimes I feel frustrated at other's lack of quality in their editing, I keep thinking, "damnit, if I can do it why can't you?" but I have to remind myself often, I was just like that once and they have a steeper learning curve. They don't have the benefit of having a proper structured learning environment.

I do want to teach them stuff but sometimes I hold back, less they think I'm trying to show of. I drop hints occasionally but I don't go any further with those I don't know well. I think I'll bring my college text book to work tomorrow and try preaching from the bible to them. "Hear me you mere mortals, the lord has spoken and his word is the truth!"... okay, that's a bit over acting, maybe try something less preachy.

Believe it or not, I took a picture of these chillies at MAHA 2006. New species that's supposed to add colours to your tom yam after years of generic engineering by UPM researchers. Believe it or not... real photo or did I edit it?

This is the Christmas Theme at 1 Utama New Wing. It's Mickey Mouse. I wonder what happened to Mickey's face? Maybe it was too architecturally challenging to build his nose hanging over the stage... just a nice way to say "Mickey, your nose too big lar" haha.

Blogging again

Hola. It's been awhile since I wrote anything. Not that nothing's been happening, it's just that I felt most of the thing that have been happening in my life lately shouldn't be put in a public forum. When I first started this blog, it was more of a private journal but somehow or another, more and more people started reading it and the more 'diplomatic' this blog became.
I've been tied up with some personal issues, namely trying to find a place to buy to call home. I never imagined it could be so stressful. There are so many people to please and everyone has different needs. Anyway, I shouldn't say more. It's private lar...

As for work, I think I've been slacking of a lot. I've been letting a lot of things run on auto pilot. I know, I should take a more hands on approach but sometimes it's just all the little nitty gritty details that is just oh so tedious. I have a problem I think I should get help for. I don't like to talk to people. I know, it's wierd, especially in my line of work. I just rather not talk to new people. There are some people in my office who sit just a few tables away from me and I never even said hi to them. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I find the situation awkward trying to make conversation for the first time. As time goes by, it gets even more awkward. The most I do is just smile at them while I walk pass them in a corridor. I suck at remembering people's name so that makes it even worst.

The worst part of my job is actually calling up people who are not expecting me to call. I just get all tense up when I have to call people to arrange for interviews. What's more, people who don't want to be interviewed. I just suck at making small talk and cajoling people into doing things. People would be telling me about how they got a kidney transplant and I'll be thinking, "oh, that's nice... good for you".

There are people I do talk to, it's people I already know. It just takes me a long time to be comfortable with people. Maybe because I compartmentalize my life. I mentally seperate the people I know. I have people I work with at the office; my personal friends not from work; my family; and Chui Yan and her family. I don't mix them together (if you've watched Sienfeld, you'll know what I mean). I used to try and not get too personal with my friend's from work. I only want to interact with them at work, and not talk about my personal life with them. However, everything is slowly changing.

For example, I was sitting in the cafeteria the other day with some of the female hosts and we were talking about contraceptive pills and they started telling me about their menstrual cycle and there I was giving them advice on whether to go on the pill or not. After I finished my first sentence I was thinking, "shit, what the f*ck did I just say?". My job involves me in getting to know the female mind and most of my colleagues are females. So I do find myself in a lot of female conversations like these. We talk a lot about female sexuality and what women want (and it's a way lot more about sex). Sometimes I surprise my male bosses too at the suggestions I make. Either I've gotten good at my job or I'm turning into one big emotional sob. (insert hug here)

Lately, a lot of my colleagues have been coming to me to tell me their personal problems, I just listen, smile and nod my head. I don't say much because it's awkward for me. It's not that I don't care, I do but I don't know what advice to give them but I know most women just want someone to listen instead of offering suggestions so a lot of my female colleagues do come see and I share their secrets. It's such a burden to carry their secrets around, I hope I don't blurt it out accidentally.

The Kitten

Today was a slow day. When to lunch with Mastura. I needed to talk to her about the new pilot, things haven't really taken of yet, I've been busy planning for other stuff plus the other person in the equation isn't around. I'm supposed to do a presentation for a potential client but they haven't gotten back to me either. I hate shooting pilots, its like staring at a blank canvas and I don't know how to start the painting.

Anyway, we when to 1U for lunch, as we were driving up the parking ramp, I saw a kitten crouched and hiding in the drain. I told Mas what I saw and that freaked her out and asked if we should go and rescue it. I was thinking, "damn, I ain't walking back down the parking ramp just to save a kitten... it could be vicious and bite me". Okay, lame excuse... I can feel all that bad karma for my in-action building up already. It drove Mas nuts when I mentioned it again during lunch.

Reminded me of the other day when all the cars were avoiding something near the traffic light. When the light turned green and the cars started moving, a kitten crawled out from under the moving car. One of its back leg was broken, I think it got ran over by a car. Was pretty gross. I told Chui Yan about it and she wasn't happy I told her what I saw.

A few days later, I was walking in SS2 and I saw this really weak kitten sleeping on the stairs. I nudged it a little to check if it was alive and it was... barely.

Before that, I was in KLCC and as I was walking to the carpark, I saw a cat sitting there staring at the glass door. I opened the door and lightly nudged it out. Better for the cat to find its way out then to wander around KLCC. I wonder what's up with all the encounters I had with cats. Not really a cat person. I won't eat them or pet them. I just leave them alone most of the time. Maybe this is one of those M. Night Shyamalan movies where all these insignificant events add up to something in the end.

I had to buy socks in 1U today. My maid lost all my socks and underwear. She stuffed it away in my brother's and father's drawer and all I have left are 2 pairs of socks and about 5 underwears. I came back in the evening with Chui Yan later in the evening to buy my underwear. Didn't seem right buying underwear during lunch time, especially when I'm out with a colleague.

Birthday's and UMNO
It's been a busy week. Chui Yan's mother celebrated her birthday. They got her a cake, but the cake was more for Chui Yan's niece. The cake had panda bears on it. Was amusing.

Getting ready to cut the cake.
One of the panda bear's head is flat, I think too much weight was put on the top of the cake box.

Now this is where babies come from. They come from a huge pot while you're hanging your laundry. Nah, actually it's just my niece in a pot while my maid is drying my laundry. Easier to keep her in one place, otherwise she'll be crawling everywhere.

Today, I was at UMNO gathering at PWTC. It was really packed. My first stop was the control room, there was a whole bunch of broadcasters hanging around sharing gossips and smoking their lungs black. I when into the mini studio and Azizah was preparing her questions while Ally was taking a nap.

Next, I when to check out the locations at the RMK9 booth and the bazaar. The bazaar was crazy, it was really pack with humans. Was a real fire hazard. During the cross-over at the bazaar the human traffic almost came to a standstill as only one person at a time could pass through the small passage we were in.

I had lunch with Azizah. She brought me up to the JPM secretariat. One of Pak Lah's speech writer joined us for lunch. He was complaining about PWTC's chicken. Personally, I have very low standards for food. If it's edible and not a health concern... it's fine by me! The guy was complaining how the cauliflower was not a match for the chicken dish and I was thinking, "damn, I'm just glad the food's free!"

Anyway, it was interesting to hear how the dude helps write speeches for Pak Lah and what are Pak Lah's speech styles. Apparently, Pak Lah likes to repeat the important things in his speech to remind people. So the next time you hear the same thing repeated over and over again, it's something really important that he wants to emphasize. For major speeches, Pak Lah has a team to work on it and different team members work on different sections of the speech.

During the UMNO assembly, he has a team of researchers taking notes of what the delegates say. They don't type out a full text speech for it, because for important speeches like this, Pak Lah uses pointers only. This is one thing that journalist are afraid of and have a hard time following.

Anyway, I personally don't like going to the UMNO gathering. It's only suitable for Malays and some of the things the delegates say are best kept for Malay ears only. I've been listening to what the delegates say, and its a good thing it wasn't fully broadcasted live. Some of them are pretty anti non-Malays. For instance, one delegate said, "Melayu ada banyak kawan Cina, tetapi Cina tak ada kawan Melayu". Now that's one thing I can't stand, stereotypes. I personally have a lot of Malay friends and I know of many other Chinese similar to me. Bashing the Chinese just to pander to the listener is stupid. It breeds hatred and generalization... and I dare say racism.

Other than the hail-Pak-Lah speeches, I personally think it's just one huge show. Everyone has to show their 'unwaivering' loyalty in public and for the media. Some of the politicians show go for acting classes to make it look better.

Azizah interviewing Nori at the RMK9 booth at the UMNO gathering at PWTC. I had to slowly sneak in behind Nori and slowly turn her to face the camera while the interview was going on. I waited until they cut to another camera before reaching in. Good thing the studio director didn't cut back to the interview, otherwise that would have been wierd with two hands on her arms.

Azizah getting ready for the cross-over at the RMK9 exibition at the UMNO gathering at PWTC. I spend half an hour with Azizah going over the questions for Nori. In the end, Nori didn't want to answer most of it.

Wai Leng's Going Away Party

I when to Wai Leng's going away party tonight. Don't have many close friends, so Wai Leng's one of them. She's going to Canada to be a pharmacist. I met Wai Leng years ago while I was chatting online. I was studying in the US and she was studying in UK. We met up and we were friends since.

I met up with her other friends at the party. Most of them I don't see unless its some big event like Wai Leng's wedding. For example, I met up with Yuet Ling, the last time I saw her was at Wai Leng's wedding in January. She recently discovered Buddhism which is cool. Normally, I hear people saying they've discovered God through Christianity or Islam, not Buddhism.

I can't say I'm a practicing Buddhist either, however I do believe in the Buddhist philosophy of suffering and karma. I try to do good when I can and also cut down my cravings.

Union Internationale Motonautique

I was at Putrajaya Marriott Hotel for the whole day on Friday for the Union Internationale Motonautique (UIM) dinner. UIM is the body in charge of the F1 Powerboat races. The theme of the dinner was Songket. I was there the whole day for the live cross-over and the recording at night. Was a very long day. Spend the whole night in the OB Van. Not the most pleasant place in the world, especially if you're claustrophobic.

I had a long break between the cross-over in the afternoon and the dinner in the evening. I was looking for a place to take a nap but didn't find one. There was a meeting room that they booked for the performers to do the makeup but I didn't want to take a nap there, too many kids walking in and out. Later I was talking with Mastura, the Natrah the fashion designer came over to join us. She had 2 rooms booked for her models and her stylist team. I was thinking, "hrmm, now that would be a wierd place to take a nap... models getting dressed and hairdryers blowing".

Natrah has her own label, Embun. She looks very strict, but she's quite nice actually. She was telling us she only works with the top models, as they already know what they're doing. I agree with her, it pays to work with the best. Less headache.

The theme of the dinner for the UIM at Putrajaya Marriott Hotel was Songket. They wanted to promote Malaysian culture. They had Songket displays outside for the delegates to see. Some of the Songket pieces were above RM10,000. Expensive fabric!
Stage rehersals for the UIM dinner. The Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister made last minute confirmation on their attendance. Quite a lot of changes were made last minute. Ah well, all in a day's work.


This is the Putrajaya Marriott Hotel Ballroom. I was there for the Union Internationale Motonautique (UIM)'s dinner. UIM is the body in charge of the F1 powerboat race. Nice ballroom, quite large.Here's Pak Lah leaving the function. Everyone had to wait outside to say bye to him. Even the Deputy Prime minister waited outside. The even finished quite late, 5 minutes from midnight. Was a long day for me, I was there since morning.

Selamat Hari Raya

Well, I'm glad the Raya holidays are over. Unlike most people, I had to work through the public holidays. Wasn't really heavy work, but I still had to go into the office on a holiday. I celebrate all holidays, my favorites are Saturdays and Sundays!

On the bright side, at least I got to some bigshot politicians (now is that really a bright side?). I was at the PWTC open house that Pak Lah hosted with all the cabinet ministers. I got to greet Pak Lah at the door, actually I was more like the lookout to see if he had already arrived.

The first cross over with Pak Lah in the morning was a little awkward. He flat out didn't want to say anything but after much persuasion (on live TV too!) he agreed. His assistant came to see us after that and said the feedback they got was that he didn't look very happy on air and asked if there was going to be another interview so I said, sure let's slot him in for the afternoon news. I was crouching in front of him and I reminded the guy to smile and he said, "Satu hari dah senyum, dah penat dah". Man, that cracked me up. The guy was greeting VIP's and the public the whole morning, he had facial muscle aches from smiling.

Look at Najib and Pak Lah's picture, I don't remember Najib being that short
compared to Pak Lah.

Ifa, me, Shafinaz and Azzura at PWTC on Hari Raya. We had to work. Me and
Ifa were floor managers. Ifa had to run down and catch Pak Lah for a live
cross-over on national TV.

Here's Pak Lah and the cabinet ministers greeting the VIP's on Hari Raya open house at PWTC. I was standing on the press stand when I took this. I met many politicians that day.

While waiting for the Hari Raya open house to start, I took a look at the UMNO Galery and I saw this potrait. Reminds me of Hang Tuah and his friends... now didn't one of his friends turn bad?

On the second day of Raya, me and Ifa when to visit Tun Dr. Mahathir for his open house. Was raining cats and dogs when we got there. Was quite a number of dignitaries at his house too. I met a few old colleagues there too. Besides the controversy between Tun and Pak Lah, I have all the respects for both men. Tun, I admire because he's the prime minister I grew up with and Pak Lah because he's my prime minister now.

Me, and Ifa with the man! You da Man Tun!

This is the view behind Tun Dr. Mahathir's house. I took this picture during his Hari Raya open house. You can see the Mines lake behind it. Beautiful view isn't it?

Here's a picture of me with a Porsche Cayenne Turbo. It cost roughly about RM850,000. I think this one belongs to Datuk Mokzani, Tun's son. Tun has a nicer Cayenne park in the garage that Mokzani gave to him. Mokzani owns the Porsche dealership.

I got to meet Datuk Siti Nurhaliza too. She came on the show. I was shitting in my pants because she came late, but it was all good in the end. Siti is an extremely nice person. What you see on TV is what you get in real life. She's quite shy too, the kind of girl you can take home to meet your parents... wait, she's married already! Anyway... I'm not a big fan that would shout "Sitiiiii!". I just admire her Siti franchise. She's build a legion of fans and also a good business empire to capitalize on it. Way to go Siti, fame and sucess... and still humble. You deserve a Datukship.

Me and Datuk Siti Nurhaliza! Ahhhh... Sitiiiiiiiiii! Okay, just joking. Not a major fan but I do admire the Siti 'franchise'. A legion of fans makes for good business. She was in the studio and I took a picture with her.

Me and Datuk Siti Nurhaliza. She's a really nice person in real life, very shy. First time I shook her hand, she had a very firm handshake. She gave me an autographed CD from her Cerita Cinta album.

Azean with Datuk Siti Nurhaliza after the show. She gave really 'safe' answers during the interview. A real pro at work here. However, she's really a nice person. No real dirt to dig up, because there's none.