Thursday, June 29, 2006

Nirvana & the Big Bang
Hey there. Right, I decided “Hola” was kind of a cheesy way to start a blog entry. I was gonna with “What’s up?” but then nobody reads this blog so I don’t think I’ll get a respond… not even an echo me thinks.

I watched Walk The Line over the week. It’s a movie about Johnny Cash and June Carter. Since I’ve been listening to the guy quite often, I thought I’ll see what the hype was all about in the movie. Turns out to be a pretty damn movie I might say, but what can I say, I’m a little bit country (I’m a little bit rock & roll too!). Mr. Cash had quite an interesting life, the ending of the movie ended with him proposing to June Carter. Now that I think about it, there wasn’t much of a plot development, but what made the movie really good was the actor Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon singing their own songs and man, they sound exactly like Johnny Cash and June Carter.

I’ve been contemplating a lot of things over the weekend too. One thing just leads to another. I’m currently preparing to go to the Jomheboh Karnival in Perlis over the weekend. I have to take the bus and they say it’s going to take 8 hours! So I’ve been thinking of things to do in that 8 hours. One of things I’ve been doing is downloading audio books. One of the books I’ve been downloading, “A Short History Of Nearly Everything” (by Bill Bryson) starts of with the history of the cosmos and the Big Bang Theory. I’ve also been downloading lectures of Buddhism, though I don’t have the whole lecture series it does get me contemplating about Nirvana again.

I have this weird theory about Nirvana. The whole objective of being a Buddhist is to escape this rebirth cycle and reach Nirvana, and I tell ya… I don’t think there are many who’ve made it. However, the Buddha says there is a place where there is no birth, re-birth and death. Now cross referencing with what I’ve read about the Big Bang, the universe started out as the Singularity, where there was just 1, everything was just one ‘thing’. It just expanded into this universe and some say it’s slowly collapsing into a singularity again. Now, isn’t that Nirvana? Come from nothing, go back to nothing?

I’ve flipped through the Philosophy for Dummies book in Kinokuniya and read a little about what the Atheist thing about death. Why do we fear death if we came from nothing and there was nothing before us, why fear going back to nothing? It was not painful or sad when we were nothing, we didn’t feel anything at all.

I think it only when we’re alive right now that we fear losing what we have now but in death when we cease to exist (barring the fact of re-birth), we become nothing again. Some theories about the Big Bang also suggest that the singularity expanding into a universe and squeezing back into a singularity again is an endless cycle, and get this… there may be other singularities out there in different dimensions! In Buddhist literature, they explain that there are other different realms where we can reincarnate into too. We do not just exist in this plane of reality that we know… but I hope there’s only one singularity… otherwise, if this Big Bang theory works out and we implode into the singularity again, we would all have finally achieved Nirvana.

Is this too heavy a material for you to read?

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Why I like my job
Just a thought, I've been listening to that Anthony Robbins in my car. The guy said I should think positive thoughts. Alright, I thought I'll just list down the first ten thing that comes to my mind why I like job. Here goes...

1. I get to tell 2 chicks to dive with sharks on my command. Now that cracks me up.

2. Inserting easter egg's in the show that only I get. My own personal joke to see if anyone notices it. Sort of like how we scan the radio airwaves in space hoping to find alien lifeform.

3. Attending lingerie shows (okay, it was only once but that was fun).

4. Woman co-workers talk you casually about sex, hey... part of the job. Not that it turns me on but I appreciate them sharing their views normally reserved only for their gender or OBGYN. I'm such a dirty voyuer.

5. Waking up late for work. I admit it, not a morning person.

6. The power to change people's perception of their world... one lie at a time.

7. Meeting famous people... okay, it wears out after awhile. I'm jaded.

8. Occasionally, I get to make the viewers cry or laugh. Controlling someone's emotion... I'm power crazy.

9. Big corporations buy me free meals... yeah!

10. Oh yeah, almost forgot... still doing what I always wanted to do since uni, producing my own show. Feels like being the captain of the Enterprise.
I like the low numbers that visit my blog, seriously, I do. I appreciate the fact that I don't have an audience to write for but myself. I have enough pressure as it is, creating content for viewers at work. Here, it's just for me and who ever happens to stumble across this blog.

I've been downloading and listening to a lot of Country music in my car and at home. Namely, I've been listening to Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and the rest of the guys from that era. Kinda puts me in the nostalgic mood. I used to think I hated country music. My room mate in uni used to listen to it and I thought it was icky. I think it had to do with that song Achky Breaky Heart.

It's embarassing but now I find myself singing along to A Named Sue; Ring Of Fire; and The General Lee. Damnit, I'm turning into a freaking redneck. Like I was saying, all this country's putting me in a nostalgic mood. Was surfing through friendster and saw some pictures of long lost friends and people I used to know. I tell ya, I could feel a tear almost beading in the corner of the eye.

It's a good thing I'm listening to all these country music. My company made me sign some statement saying I'll be a good employee. Other things added was that I would not sue the company without consulting them first. I think they left out the clause that I shouldn't be a card carrying communist and a homosexual also. Dumbass.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Hola Again
Hola!... okay, I thought a nice hello in a language besides English would be a nice introduction after a long hiatus of not writing. I used to read articles by this guy in the Onion who started his articles like that. Anyway, the guy was a total pot head.

So what's my excuse for not writing? Well, like the pot head (not that I'm one!), there was a lot things going on life. First of all, after I got sick, I had a ton of things going on at work and I've started a new campaign in Total War: Barbarian Invasion.

I admit it, I'm addicted to Barbarian Invasion. There's just something about being the overlord of a huge empire killing little pixels. Right now I rule a huge Sassanid Empire (Pre-middle age empire, started the religion Zoroatism). There's just something about having a column of war elephants with a line of heavy armoured calvary marching into battle for you. Like Conan used to say, the meaning of life is to see your enemy crushed!

So there I am spending hours on end killing pixel, living the unexamined life as Socrates say, totally oblivous to the outside world. I stopped playing for a few days now as I now control almost 95% of the known world in the game. Looking back, what did all that acomplishment amount too? Not much in the real world, except that I now wish there was a quick reload button in real life. I do think however, I think of multiple strategies in real life like how I do in the game... only the strategies involve what would happen if I had an army of elephants with me at work instead.

Speaking of work, man, have I been bogged down with work with the recent changes made. There's just so much to do. Not that I don't enjoy the job but spending more than half the day in the office is mentally tiring. I used to think I wasn't doing it for the money, I was doing it as a my responsibility to society. Now my priorities have changed. I want to get married, get a house, a car... I need time and money and a better quality of life. Makes me think back to the Buddhist teaching, life is suffering, we want so we suffer.

I've been downloading audio books from the internet to listen in the car recently. I've been listening to a lot of Philosophy and self-help books. The philosophy because I've always been interested, the self-help because I need information for work. My favourite have been a series of lectures on Greek Philosophies and Mythology. Just imagine, more than 2000 years ago a few guys with no running toilet came up with philosophical ideas that we still refer too today. Makes you wonder, what would we do today that will echo in eternity?

Our actions and in-actions rippples out from us into our surrounding. Some ripples reach out further than others. That's one of the thing I like about my job, the ability to reach out and make a change for the good. In philosophy, there are many definitions of what is good (different societies have different versions of values). My previous experiences define my defintion of what is good, and I used to aim to change the world to my perspective. Now, I think to myself... screw it, can't change the whole world. Maybe I'll just settle for gentle ripples eminating from me you know?

It's football season (World Cup 2006) right now and I tell you, I ain't no soccer fan though I do stay up late, not to watch the game but just because I like it at night when it's peaceful and I listen to oldies. Right now, it's Marty Robbins singing about the town of El Paso. While the whole world is cheering on men chasing a ball in a field, here I am listening to cowboy tunes and blogging... okay, I know, get a life.

How about I get some sleep now instead? See ya later alligator.