This 7 days a week working is getting to me. It's becoming so damn hard just to edit one bloody episode. My creative juices have run dry and I'm beginning to procrastinate more. Oddly enough, I do find that I work better under pressure when the dateline is nearer. When I start editing early and I know I have a lot of time to play around with, I have to many editing choices to make and end up not doing anything.

The kids screaming outside my room makes working from home not so pleasant anymore. The main reason I wanted to edit at home was because the AVID server at work was always full... plus I wanted the pleasure of editing in my underwear in my room. However, with screaming kids... maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

Those kids drive me nuts but I still love all three of them. Number 2 is a real screamer now. Sometimes it gets so bad, I come out of my room to see what's going on and ask them to pipe it down... which of course doesn't work because kids don't have the cognitive skills to understand reasoning yet. I want to slap some sense into them, but I know that won't work. That will just make it worst.

The story about the little girl Nurin who was raped and then murdered really got to me. I have 3 kids who I stay with me and everytime I hear about things like this, it makes me only more fearful for them.

Unlike other people, I don't believe in punishment. I believe that all criminals are ill. Some are mentally ill, while others are 'socially' ill/handicapped. What do I mean by socially ill/handicapped? I use this term to describe those who have grown up or currently live in an extremely hard social situation, poverty or abuse.

I feel that our justice system is all wrong. Convicts are sentenced to prison terms and canning or even the death penalty. I feel that prisons should instead focus more on 'curing' the illness that those prisoners suffer from. Take for example, the rapist. Counselling or medication should be given to remove their violent urges. If they can't be cured, then they should be removed from society.

Locking up someone and canning them is revenge, not rehabilitation. Most of the time, it doesn't 'cure' the person of the reason why they committed the crime in the first place. In fact, prisons today are schools for criminals. They learn their trade and craft when they are in prison now.

I know everyone wants to get the person who did this to Nurin, however, most of them want revenge. They want the guy to suffer just as badly as Nurin suffered. They want to inflict pain. However, that won't bring Nurin back. Catching the guy would prevent further rapes and murders but the little girl will still be gone and her parents will still be sad.

Don't give in to revenge. It's a fruitless path. Everytime when I drive, I have to remind myself to let go of my anger and need for vengance. Someone cuts me of and I think "damn it, he did it on purpose just to piss me of!". I want to get back at him by doing the same to him. However, before I do that, I always think how fruitless and dangerous that would be.

Now I just imagine that me driving on the road with all these road bullies around me is like me floating on a river with all these fishes swimming around me. Sounds idealistic? Well, I have to start somewhere.