I was browsing through ahmoi and I came across a poem a wrote a long time ago. I used it as a filter, those who are attracted to it or understood it are basically the type of people I wanted to talk too back then.

know not what I seek but I know I haven't found it yet.

I know not whether it be spiritual relevation, true love, bonding friendship, pleasure or world peace.

However I do know I am the seeker.

I am not lost, but I have yet to find.

I know I must find answers but I know not the questions to ask.

I wonder the land in search for the right questions to ask.

One day the right one will come to me then I would be able to find the answer.

I know I am not alone, for others to seek the questions and answers I seek.

They too are out there seeking.

Many perils await us, for many offer a universe of questions and answers but most likely, they are but just distractions.

Many seekers fall prey to the distractions, our journeys are full of victims, lost in their cause.

Tired but still wondering silently, trapped by commitments in their life, bound by life itself from seeking life.

I journey on.

I know not what awaits me, but I know I cannot turn back.

Langkawi!

Langkawi, here I come! Leaving on a morning flight tomorrow with Chui Yan for Langkawi for 3 days. We're going to be staying at Geo Park Inn at the Oriental Village. Going to be fun. I was contemplating whether I should bring the video camera. Alway feels like work when I have video camera around, having to take shots. Anyway, I chucked it in the bag. Hope it's going to be okay there. Brought only one tape though, should be more than enough I hope.

My bag is packed, hope I can still find my Langkawi map in my room somewhere...

My new Camera
I present to you, my new camera! Panasonic AG-DVC32EN. I love it's small form factor, small for a 3CCD camera with a 1/4 inch CCD. I've been waiting months to get it. I finally had the cash and I bought it for almost RM9K, including the XLR connector. I love this camera, since I already own a panasonic, it was easy to learn the menus. Now I finally get to do a lot of other stuff I wanted to shoot. Can't wait to use it tomorrow. Woohoo!

Anugerah Skrin Ke-8

This was pretty last minute, but an episode I produced got nominated for Bualbicara Terbaik for Anugerah Skrin Ke-8 (AS8). My manager told me he had submitted the episode a few weeks ago and I didn't think much about it until the producer of the AS8 came to see and gave me an invitation card and said I have to attend because I have to represent the program.

I was going to borrow something from wardrobe to wear since the dress code said suits for guys. I when to browse through the wardrobe department and didn't quite find anything fancy. That evening, I when to G2000 and Chui Yan helped me picked out a suit, a shirt and pants. Cost me Rm813 for the whole set. I like how it was made of Teflon... almost bullet proof man! My niece saw me wearing my suit and she got all excited and crawled up to my leg and started pulling my pants and wanted me to carry her. I was hesitant at first since she drools a lot but I can't say no to her. I think she was intrigued by the white shirt I was wearing.

Everyone was asking me what would I say if I won, so I thought about it and I thought about all the corny speeches I could have made like, "I dedicate this award too all the women out there, without you I wouldn't be here!" and I'll say it while pumping that heavy pewter award in the air. Another one I thought would get some extra corny points was, "I didn't expect to win, so I didn't prepare anything but I would like to thank..." and then I'll rattle on until they chase me of the stage. Hehe.

I got stuck in a huge jam on the way to PWTC. I thought I was going to be early but ended up 5 minutes late. I walked up from the basement and took the escalator all the way up. When I reached the reception then only I realized I left my invitation card at home. I thought, "shit, now I'm screwed". Knowing them, they're pretty strict on keeping the rift-raft's out of the hall with pretty tight security. I walked back around the public gallery all the way to the start of the red carpet and I saw a TV3 staff guarding one of the cordoned areas. I walked up to him, waved at home and got in pass to the red carpet. As I was doing that, the guards were pushing out 2 photographers without ID. At least the guards knew me by name and just waived me by.

I was standing there on the red carpet waiting for Chermaine. She called earlier to see if she could sit with me since she didn't know anyone there so I thought, sure, I didn't anyone else on the nominee list. I was standing on the red carpet with the camera crews watching them doing interviews, especially my trainee. All the female personalities got stopped and were asked who designed what they were wearing. Even Chermained had a new designer sponsor her for the night.

As me and Chermaine started walking towards the hall on the red carpet, some of the people in the public gallery were waiving and calling to us. Chermaine asked if the dude was a friend of mine and I said no, because I thought he was waiving at you. As we entered the hall, I suddenly realized that the dude might have been a fan calling us over to get our signature. That would have been pretty funny since we're both not particularly well known. Well, at least Chermaine's hot.

We set by the aisle seat at the front centre and I had a pretty good view of the stage. As people started walking up to the seats, I got to see them and some of the actors and actresses who recognized me said hi. The director of Ciplak sat with us, with his mother and friends. Even Datuk Kadir (the former information minister) shoke my hand, tipical politician. I was just staring into blank space and he so happened to walked into my line of sight and made eye contact with me so he extended a hand and I shook it.

The nice thing about live shows like this are that it starts on time because it's broadcasted live. I think today was behind by 2-3 minutes because they had to wait for the news to end. While we were sitting there waiting for the show to start, I told Chermaine, it felt like we were sitting in a bus on a long journey. We sat down at 7:15PM and it was going to end at 11PM.

The show started with Erra and Datuk Siti's duet. The sound system was awsome. The bass was literally shaking the hall. You could feel the sound waves going through you. The presenters were okay, Mastura had a pretty funny presentation.

Somewhere through the 3rd commercial break, I ran of to the toilet. When I came back, they wouldn't let me into my seat because the show started again. Those of us who came back late were just standing by the side of the hall waiting. In the Oscars, they have seat in's, people who would seat in your seat when you when to the loo so when the camera takes a wide shot of the people, there are no empty seats. I remember once during the Oscars, the camera fell on a celebrity couple trying to get back to their seats and they were complaining, "there's someone in my seat!" Was pretty funny.

When my category came up, I was pretty nervous. I didn't actually know who I was competing against. When I saw the nominees booklet then I thought, "damn!". They had Aznil in it and that's pretty much entertainment. I can't compete with that. Wrong talkshow category. True enough, Aznil won for an episode called "Kaki". Don't ask me, I don't know what it was about either. Well, there goes my chance to make any corny speeches. Wardina send me a pretty funny SMS after they gave out the award.

After the show ended, I hung around to chat with my colleagues. I asked Naz's gal if she was giving the evil eye to Fazura. She was practically sitting right in front of them at the podium watching Fazura flirt on air with him. Was pretty funny.

The director of Ciplak won for independent film. His friend was telling him, "well, now you've achieved the most you'll ever do in your life, you're 27 now. This is the highlight of your life!". Haha, I said "what, it's all down hill now isn't it?". Silly buggers.

There was a party after that, I didn't eat dinner yet so we when to grab a bite. While walking out of the hall, there were fans waiting for the stars to come out to take their pictures. There were a lot of transvestites waiting out there! I saw one wearing a small purple tank top and he/she wasn't wearing a bra. His/her C Cup tits were barely covered by the top. I didn't know whether to laugh or look away. Now it wouldn't be indecency now would it if it were man tits? I mean, it's okay for guys to go topless but what if the 'guy' had a C cup tits? My other colleagues were gawking away as well, one of them said, "hey, you stand next to him and I will pretend to take your picture together, but I'll actually zoom in on his tits so we can show others". I declined, I didn't want to be tagged to the transvestite.

At the party, there was a lot of networking going on. Everyone got to meet new talents and a lot of ideas were pitched very fasts. Winning an award gets you more recognition, for example the director of Ciplak met Lina Tan, from Red Comm. and they talked about movie scripts. I met a former host who asked about hosting. Was pretty interesting to see all the networking going on.

We finally left the party and I send Chermaine home. On the way home, we talked about production. I explained to her how producing a new show works since she's starting her TV career.

I have to admit, I don't watch much TV anymore. Before I when to the US to study broadcasting and film studies, I was a TV addict. I loved watching TV and films. Now, I don't do that much anymore, basically because I tend to watch it with a diferent perspective now. I look at everything from the technical point of view. For example, at the Anugerah Skrin, I was looking at the cameras instead to see what camera angles they used and the lights to see whether they were dimming it on cue. I was looking at the hosts and presenters to see if they were reading from their cue cards or doing it naturally. There isn't much of an illusion of entertainment anymore for me, now I just try to dissect everything I watch.

Better hit the sack, I got to wake up early tomorrow!

Me and Naz

The stage, after the show. It was a wonderfully designed 3D set, took them a week to build it. I think it cost almost RM60K. Well worth it.

This isn't a very flattering picture of me and Sheanee. My camera phone sucks in low light. Take my word for it, she look great that night.

Another photo of me and Sheanee

Me and Chermaine after the show ended. Her dress was pretty long and I accidentally stepped on it a few times. Sorry!

T Shake

I was standing outside my office trying to get a Maxis line and I looked at the guardhouse and saw this chick getting into a sports car and driving pass me. As the car came near I was thinking, "hrmm, who's this hottie driving this yellow sports car?". The car slowed down and the window when down and lo and behold it was Hannah Tan.

She was here for a press conference so I chatted with her while she was doing her hair in the makeup room. We talked about her new album, her personal life and the people we knew. I haven't seen her in a few months. She's such a sweet gal and it's too bad most guys don't see beyond her cleavage.

Hannah changed her phone number because she started getting wierd calls. I told her I called her old number once and it had a Jay Chou ringtone. Some chinese dude picked it up and said I had the wrong number and didn't knew who Hannah was... I should have said, "eh, Hannah lar... the Hannah Tan from FHM magazine, don't know ah?" haha. Poor guy, must have been getting a lot of wierd calls ever since he got that number.

Anyway, Hannah's been busy promoting her album. She's even got her fan club website www.hannahtclub.com (she's now know as Hannah T, branding lar babe). She got some really sexy pictures of her in a white bikini. You'll have to see her website to see what it looks like.

Hannah showing of her new album. Check out the sexy pose on the cover!

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

Sometimes in the office I make the most obscure joke and see how long it takes for people to get it. I was sitting down chatting with Azean and Azizah today and Azean commented on my thumb drive that was orange with black tiger stripe prints on it. I put my hand on my hips and said, "yeah, it matches my outfit". They both looked at me and my blue jeans and my grey shirt and I just grinned at them. I waited a second before I said, "you can't see it because I'm not wearing it outside" and then we all burst out laughing. I then quickly pulled up the leg of my pants to reveal my black socks and said, "I was going to say my socks but you all had a better mental picture in your head" and we all had an even bigger laugh. Hehe... hrmm, well that was basically the only high point of the day really.

Normally I don't mind courting controversy. Previously Harakah Daily questioned my motives for discussing Syariah Family Law on the show (they didn't know my name or who was producing that day). A few days ago, we talked about bisexuality on air. The psychologists emphasized that homosexuality and bisexuality was not a psychological disorder. They classify it as more of a personality trait. For example, one can be an introvert; extrovert; someone who is happy go lucky or just... gay. A few days later someone wrote to the Utusan saying that we were encouraging society to accept homosexuality and questioned whether all religions should accept homosexuality as it was still a sin. The guy then when of tangent and critisized the liberals in the country.

I was going to reply only the first 3 questions the guy had and not the other stuff that he started ranting about. The guy's ranting was only fit for a conservative Malay's ear which I won't repeat here. First of all, one can't really argue with science that much. The psychologist was giving his expert opinion. Ethics in religion would always differ from science. It may not be classified as a deviant behavior but religion can classify it as a sin. In Malaysia, we practice western medication and they do not have the same moral values shared by conservatives.

Another example would be the use of pigs in medicine. Vaccines made from pigs and also trial surgeries of pig liver transplant to human is totally against Muslim believes but acceptable to other people.

Anyway, we didn't want to make the situation worst by replying the guy on air. We just let it slide. National unity before pride... that sort of thing you know.`

I personally do not see homosexuality and bisexuality as a deviant behaviour. I still believe in one of Buddha's precept that one should avoid sexual misconduct. My definition of sexual misconduct would be sexual activity that would hurt others. Homosexual couples who do not harm anyone (including their family members and themselves) are perfectly okay in my mind. The same goes for someone who is a homosexual in power. As long as they don't abuse their power or force their views on me, that's okay (unless you're a former deputy prime minister... now that's a different story all together).

Anyway, I'll end this blog with a joke I read once. Jeremy finds himself in hell and trembling quietly in the corner wondering what hellish torture awaits him. A huge sized demon walks up to him with a smile and says "hey dude, how you doing? First time here? Don't worry, it's not as bad as you think!". Jeremy looks up trembling at the demon and stammers and ask, "w-what do you mean it's not as bad as you think? I'm in hell! I've been punished for my sins!". The demon says, "dude, look... in hell, you get to do all the sins and since you're already in hell, it can't get any worst". Jeremy's optimism is beginning to peak as the demon starts explaining more. "Hey, you like drinking?". Jeremy nods his head, "sure". The demon says, "oh, then you'll love Monday, that's our drink till you keel over day. How about sex with loose women?". Jeremy smiles and says "yes!". The demon says, "Ah, then you'll like Tuesday. How about smoking pot? and surfing for porn?" Jeremy by now is nodding his head excitedly. The demon pauses and ask, "oh yeah, do you like anal sex?". Jeremy stops and says, "errr... nope". The demon sighs and then says "oh, you're going to hate Fridays here."

Crossroads

Today quite 3 major life changing proposals were made. I made 1 proposal and someone else made 2 proposals to me.

I have been working over a proposal for a special project with a colleague. It's not the usual program I usually do but it's something I always wanted to do that I trully believed in. I've been rushing to try and finalize it to meet a few datelines. We had to apply for a grant for it from a foreign government who would sponsor us to visit their country and do the story there. Plus my colleague was going overseas for a few weeks too.

Not many people in my office knew that we were working on this proposal. Even the manager I report and the manager my colleague report too didn't know. Wasn't a secret, we just didn't bother to tell anyone. I only told those who asked me what I was working on, on a need to know basis.

Anyway, I took my proposal and when to see my General Manager this afternoon. I e-mailed it to him 5 minutes before seeing him. When I walked into his room he was going through the e-mail. While he was reading the proposal, my manager walked in and saw me in the room and quickly excused himself. Probably thought I had some personal problems to complain about haha... was quite funny. My GM told him to stick around but he didn't want too.

My GM basically asked me to go back to the drawing board. It wasn't as in depth as what he wanted. He wanted something more on a huge global scale. I gotta scratch my head where to find the money now. I wanted to save the world, my GM said that I can't do it. I'm optimistic... I have to try. I can't say anymore about what I'm working on until I get the grant.

Anyway, I chucked the proposal aside on my table and started staring into blank space and I hear an ex-colleague's voice. We had drinks at the cafeteria and he made a job proposal for me. It sounds very tempting. This is not the first time I was asked. The only thing that's holding me back is familiarity. Starting all over again is quite daunting. I'm so used to what I'm doing already at work, and I can let most things fly on auto-pilot.

Going over to another organization would mean getting to know new people. Talking to new people... heck, I barely started getting to know the people I already work with. It's so stressful meeting new people I tell you! Plus there are many conditional terms that I have to deal with if I were to take up the offer. The first is of course, finding my replacement; convincing those in charge to let me go and... the worst part is getting used to the totally new working hours.

After leaving the cafeteria, I opened my e-mail and I got an e-mail from someone I totally forgot about. I had initially given up hope but seeing the title of the e-mail got me thinking again about what I really want in life. It was an invitation to come for an interview for a scholarship that I've applied for. I did it half-heartedly. I read through the letter and it said I should have an offer letter from a university by know before the interview date on January 17. Damn it, that's one month away... and there's Christmas too! I wonder if I can get a place at a university by then?

The big question is... do I even want to continue my studies? So MANY major things I want to do next year. I have responsibilities I want to take on next year, I have to think about the ones I love too, what people expect of me... it's stressful.

By the way, I read Lilian Too's horoscope for my sign (snake) next year. It says travel is in store. Damn, I wonder where I'm travelling too? It also says I'm going to have weak finances. Better start reserving money quick.

I don't relish travelling for too long a period. I get a slight agoraphobia. When I was studying in the US, I used to have a strange dream just before I wake up. I used to dream I was back home in Malaysia sleeping in my bed and 'knowing' that I was back home again somewhere familiar. However, when I do wake up and open my eyes, in a flash it dawns on me I am so very far away from home. I can almost feel myself been pulled halfway across the planet, over continents and oceans in that moment to my bed in my room in a strange country. There I am lying there thinking, "here I am, all alone in a strange country. No one else to depend on but myself". I didn't really felt homesick but more of fear... the fear of being an adult and making my own decisions. Hrmm... I think I still have that fear today sometimes.

I was going to blog today but I got pissed. There's only so much I can take. It started out as a great day but it started going down hill later on. Better to go to bed and hope I forget my anger today.

The Onion Club

I was amused when I read how the Information Minister Datuk Seri Zainuddin Maidin said in Parliament that it was an uphill battle for RTM to attract viewers.

I think one of the reasons could be the Onion Club. I call it the Onion Club, because that's what the fans of Bawang Merah Bawang Putih (BMBP) are. It's one of the most successful Cinetron imported into Malaysia by TV3. Previously, that timeslot between 2:30-3:30PM was dominated by RTM... that is until we brought in the BMBP series. Now everyone's glued to the TV at that time. It was a pretty good gamble that paid of.

Anyway, 2 of the cast of the show came to the studios today to meet the fans. They're here for the Karnival Jomheboh. Judging from the size of the crowd that turned up at the office, I can only hope we have enough guards to protect those 3 poor souls from Indonesia.

The actress who played Bawang Merah's mother (the evil stepmother) told a funny story of how while during filming on set, a few ladies walked up to her and started hitting her because she was such a mean lady to Bawang Putih. I guess she was so good an actress some people just couldn't differentiate between reality and fiction.

The fans waiting for 2 of the casts to come onto the stage. The MC had to settle the crowd down first before a stampede occured.

The Onion Club banner

2 of the cast in the studio. Guess which host isn't a fan of the show?

Aerial view of the crowd. Frightening isn't it?

I read the story below while I was browsing through a Zen Buddhism book in MPH today.


Two monks were walking in the forrest. They came to a stream and saw a lady in a silk kimono trying to cross it without getting her beautiful kimono wet. The first monk walks up to her and carries her across the stream. The second monk did not say a word but couldn't get it out of his mind. As the monk made camp for the night, the second monk finally spoke to the first monk and told him "why did you touch that lady? As monks we cannot touch females". The first monk replied, "I left the lady at the stream, are you still carrying her?".


I like the story above. Really struck me as I was standing there in the middle of MPH reading it.

The Standupper

Today was the run around day. I got dragged out to Taman Tun by Norzie to help her pick between Celcom and Maxis. She's going to Mekah and wants to use the internet while on the move there. I'm pretty sure they don't have 3G there yet, but plenty of WiFi spots. Since she's got a Maxis number already, we when over to Maxis to change her pre-paid to a post-paid. With the rates being so competitive these days, it really doesn't make much of a difference anymore between the two.

There was an awfully long waiting line at the Maxis shop. We cheated (unintentionally) by taking the shortest number for a different counter to ask a mundane question and casually asked if they could do something else for us instead. Save us about 30 minutes of sitting around aimlessly.

She told me of the criticism she got at work and that got me thinking about journalism in Malaysia. I realize most broadcast journalists here didn't actually study this at college. They're missing a lot of the basic skills such as ethics, inquisitive skills and understanding the rules. Most of them do learn it after years of hands on experience. Those who did study it, including your's truly are a bit of an ass and view others (unintentionally most of the time) as below them. It's like a class system. In the end of the day, what really matter is the end results, getting the story out. I don't talk about what I learned in my uni anymore, less I sound like I'm bragging... however, I do want to improve the work of my colleagues.

I've started reading my college books again. They never really made sense until after I actually started working. I remember my first day on the job. I was tagged to a senior reporter and we when to a press conference of all places, at my father's former office. It was embarassing because some of his former colleagues knew me and I had to introduce myself to the rest of the wolf pack (the reporters from other media). The next day, I had to go out on my own already and I was trown straight into the deep end, it was either swim or drown. I had to go visit a family asking for help for their child who had a hearing problem. I kept thinking during the shoot, "shit, what if I f*ck up? what if this kid doesn't get the help he needs because I f*cked up? He'll be deaf forever all because of me!". I still remember how the parents were really calm when I first talked to them but when the camera was rolling and the microphone was in their face, their tears started rolling on cue. You might call it acting but I understand now a parent's determination to do anything for their child. A child's need is always more important than one's pride. The last I heard, I think the kid did get someone to sponsor a hearing aid. Well, I tried.

A lot of the things I learned in uni did pay of, all those months spend trying to learn the difference between in and out point; jump cuts; pan shots and cutting SOT's came naturally at work. Now I can sit comfortably in an edit room and edit or stand behind the shoulders of any editors and give credible advice. Sometimes I feel frustrated at other's lack of quality in their editing, I keep thinking, "damnit, if I can do it why can't you?" but I have to remind myself often, I was just like that once and they have a steeper learning curve. They don't have the benefit of having a proper structured learning environment.

I do want to teach them stuff but sometimes I hold back, less they think I'm trying to show of. I drop hints occasionally but I don't go any further with those I don't know well. I think I'll bring my college text book to work tomorrow and try preaching from the bible to them. "Hear me you mere mortals, the lord has spoken and his word is the truth!"... okay, that's a bit over acting, maybe try something less preachy.

Believe it or not, I took a picture of these chillies at MAHA 2006. New species that's supposed to add colours to your tom yam after years of generic engineering by UPM researchers. Believe it or not... real photo or did I edit it?

This is the Christmas Theme at 1 Utama New Wing. It's Mickey Mouse. I wonder what happened to Mickey's face? Maybe it was too architecturally challenging to build his nose hanging over the stage... just a nice way to say "Mickey, your nose too big lar" haha.

Blogging again

Hola. It's been awhile since I wrote anything. Not that nothing's been happening, it's just that I felt most of the thing that have been happening in my life lately shouldn't be put in a public forum. When I first started this blog, it was more of a private journal but somehow or another, more and more people started reading it and the more 'diplomatic' this blog became.
I've been tied up with some personal issues, namely trying to find a place to buy to call home. I never imagined it could be so stressful. There are so many people to please and everyone has different needs. Anyway, I shouldn't say more. It's private lar...

As for work, I think I've been slacking of a lot. I've been letting a lot of things run on auto pilot. I know, I should take a more hands on approach but sometimes it's just all the little nitty gritty details that is just oh so tedious. I have a problem I think I should get help for. I don't like to talk to people. I know, it's wierd, especially in my line of work. I just rather not talk to new people. There are some people in my office who sit just a few tables away from me and I never even said hi to them. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I find the situation awkward trying to make conversation for the first time. As time goes by, it gets even more awkward. The most I do is just smile at them while I walk pass them in a corridor. I suck at remembering people's name so that makes it even worst.

The worst part of my job is actually calling up people who are not expecting me to call. I just get all tense up when I have to call people to arrange for interviews. What's more, people who don't want to be interviewed. I just suck at making small talk and cajoling people into doing things. People would be telling me about how they got a kidney transplant and I'll be thinking, "oh, that's nice... good for you".

There are people I do talk to, it's people I already know. It just takes me a long time to be comfortable with people. Maybe because I compartmentalize my life. I mentally seperate the people I know. I have people I work with at the office; my personal friends not from work; my family; and Chui Yan and her family. I don't mix them together (if you've watched Sienfeld, you'll know what I mean). I used to try and not get too personal with my friend's from work. I only want to interact with them at work, and not talk about my personal life with them. However, everything is slowly changing.

For example, I was sitting in the cafeteria the other day with some of the female hosts and we were talking about contraceptive pills and they started telling me about their menstrual cycle and there I was giving them advice on whether to go on the pill or not. After I finished my first sentence I was thinking, "shit, what the f*ck did I just say?". My job involves me in getting to know the female mind and most of my colleagues are females. So I do find myself in a lot of female conversations like these. We talk a lot about female sexuality and what women want (and it's a way lot more about sex). Sometimes I surprise my male bosses too at the suggestions I make. Either I've gotten good at my job or I'm turning into one big emotional sob. (insert hug here)

Lately, a lot of my colleagues have been coming to me to tell me their personal problems, I just listen, smile and nod my head. I don't say much because it's awkward for me. It's not that I don't care, I do but I don't know what advice to give them but I know most women just want someone to listen instead of offering suggestions so a lot of my female colleagues do come see and I share their secrets. It's such a burden to carry their secrets around, I hope I don't blurt it out accidentally.

The Kitten

Today was a slow day. When to lunch with Mastura. I needed to talk to her about the new pilot, things haven't really taken of yet, I've been busy planning for other stuff plus the other person in the equation isn't around. I'm supposed to do a presentation for a potential client but they haven't gotten back to me either. I hate shooting pilots, its like staring at a blank canvas and I don't know how to start the painting.

Anyway, we when to 1U for lunch, as we were driving up the parking ramp, I saw a kitten crouched and hiding in the drain. I told Mas what I saw and that freaked her out and asked if we should go and rescue it. I was thinking, "damn, I ain't walking back down the parking ramp just to save a kitten... it could be vicious and bite me". Okay, lame excuse... I can feel all that bad karma for my in-action building up already. It drove Mas nuts when I mentioned it again during lunch.

Reminded me of the other day when all the cars were avoiding something near the traffic light. When the light turned green and the cars started moving, a kitten crawled out from under the moving car. One of its back leg was broken, I think it got ran over by a car. Was pretty gross. I told Chui Yan about it and she wasn't happy I told her what I saw.

A few days later, I was walking in SS2 and I saw this really weak kitten sleeping on the stairs. I nudged it a little to check if it was alive and it was... barely.

Before that, I was in KLCC and as I was walking to the carpark, I saw a cat sitting there staring at the glass door. I opened the door and lightly nudged it out. Better for the cat to find its way out then to wander around KLCC. I wonder what's up with all the encounters I had with cats. Not really a cat person. I won't eat them or pet them. I just leave them alone most of the time. Maybe this is one of those M. Night Shyamalan movies where all these insignificant events add up to something in the end.

I had to buy socks in 1U today. My maid lost all my socks and underwear. She stuffed it away in my brother's and father's drawer and all I have left are 2 pairs of socks and about 5 underwears. I came back in the evening with Chui Yan later in the evening to buy my underwear. Didn't seem right buying underwear during lunch time, especially when I'm out with a colleague.

Birthday's and UMNO
It's been a busy week. Chui Yan's mother celebrated her birthday. They got her a cake, but the cake was more for Chui Yan's niece. The cake had panda bears on it. Was amusing.

Getting ready to cut the cake.
One of the panda bear's head is flat, I think too much weight was put on the top of the cake box.

Now this is where babies come from. They come from a huge pot while you're hanging your laundry. Nah, actually it's just my niece in a pot while my maid is drying my laundry. Easier to keep her in one place, otherwise she'll be crawling everywhere.

Today, I was at UMNO gathering at PWTC. It was really packed. My first stop was the control room, there was a whole bunch of broadcasters hanging around sharing gossips and smoking their lungs black. I when into the mini studio and Azizah was preparing her questions while Ally was taking a nap.

Next, I when to check out the locations at the RMK9 booth and the bazaar. The bazaar was crazy, it was really pack with humans. Was a real fire hazard. During the cross-over at the bazaar the human traffic almost came to a standstill as only one person at a time could pass through the small passage we were in.

I had lunch with Azizah. She brought me up to the JPM secretariat. One of Pak Lah's speech writer joined us for lunch. He was complaining about PWTC's chicken. Personally, I have very low standards for food. If it's edible and not a health concern... it's fine by me! The guy was complaining how the cauliflower was not a match for the chicken dish and I was thinking, "damn, I'm just glad the food's free!"

Anyway, it was interesting to hear how the dude helps write speeches for Pak Lah and what are Pak Lah's speech styles. Apparently, Pak Lah likes to repeat the important things in his speech to remind people. So the next time you hear the same thing repeated over and over again, it's something really important that he wants to emphasize. For major speeches, Pak Lah has a team to work on it and different team members work on different sections of the speech.

During the UMNO assembly, he has a team of researchers taking notes of what the delegates say. They don't type out a full text speech for it, because for important speeches like this, Pak Lah uses pointers only. This is one thing that journalist are afraid of and have a hard time following.

Anyway, I personally don't like going to the UMNO gathering. It's only suitable for Malays and some of the things the delegates say are best kept for Malay ears only. I've been listening to what the delegates say, and its a good thing it wasn't fully broadcasted live. Some of them are pretty anti non-Malays. For instance, one delegate said, "Melayu ada banyak kawan Cina, tetapi Cina tak ada kawan Melayu". Now that's one thing I can't stand, stereotypes. I personally have a lot of Malay friends and I know of many other Chinese similar to me. Bashing the Chinese just to pander to the listener is stupid. It breeds hatred and generalization... and I dare say racism.

Other than the hail-Pak-Lah speeches, I personally think it's just one huge show. Everyone has to show their 'unwaivering' loyalty in public and for the media. Some of the politicians show go for acting classes to make it look better.

Azizah interviewing Nori at the RMK9 booth at the UMNO gathering at PWTC. I had to slowly sneak in behind Nori and slowly turn her to face the camera while the interview was going on. I waited until they cut to another camera before reaching in. Good thing the studio director didn't cut back to the interview, otherwise that would have been wierd with two hands on her arms.

Azizah getting ready for the cross-over at the RMK9 exibition at the UMNO gathering at PWTC. I spend half an hour with Azizah going over the questions for Nori. In the end, Nori didn't want to answer most of it.

Wai Leng's Going Away Party

I when to Wai Leng's going away party tonight. Don't have many close friends, so Wai Leng's one of them. She's going to Canada to be a pharmacist. I met Wai Leng years ago while I was chatting online. I was studying in the US and she was studying in UK. We met up and we were friends since.

I met up with her other friends at the party. Most of them I don't see unless its some big event like Wai Leng's wedding. For example, I met up with Yuet Ling, the last time I saw her was at Wai Leng's wedding in January. She recently discovered Buddhism which is cool. Normally, I hear people saying they've discovered God through Christianity or Islam, not Buddhism.

I can't say I'm a practicing Buddhist either, however I do believe in the Buddhist philosophy of suffering and karma. I try to do good when I can and also cut down my cravings.

Union Internationale Motonautique

I was at Putrajaya Marriott Hotel for the whole day on Friday for the Union Internationale Motonautique (UIM) dinner. UIM is the body in charge of the F1 Powerboat races. The theme of the dinner was Songket. I was there the whole day for the live cross-over and the recording at night. Was a very long day. Spend the whole night in the OB Van. Not the most pleasant place in the world, especially if you're claustrophobic.

I had a long break between the cross-over in the afternoon and the dinner in the evening. I was looking for a place to take a nap but didn't find one. There was a meeting room that they booked for the performers to do the makeup but I didn't want to take a nap there, too many kids walking in and out. Later I was talking with Mastura, the Natrah the fashion designer came over to join us. She had 2 rooms booked for her models and her stylist team. I was thinking, "hrmm, now that would be a wierd place to take a nap... models getting dressed and hairdryers blowing".

Natrah has her own label, Embun. She looks very strict, but she's quite nice actually. She was telling us she only works with the top models, as they already know what they're doing. I agree with her, it pays to work with the best. Less headache.

The theme of the dinner for the UIM at Putrajaya Marriott Hotel was Songket. They wanted to promote Malaysian culture. They had Songket displays outside for the delegates to see. Some of the Songket pieces were above RM10,000. Expensive fabric!
Stage rehersals for the UIM dinner. The Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister made last minute confirmation on their attendance. Quite a lot of changes were made last minute. Ah well, all in a day's work.


This is the Putrajaya Marriott Hotel Ballroom. I was there for the Union Internationale Motonautique (UIM)'s dinner. UIM is the body in charge of the F1 powerboat race. Nice ballroom, quite large.Here's Pak Lah leaving the function. Everyone had to wait outside to say bye to him. Even the Deputy Prime minister waited outside. The even finished quite late, 5 minutes from midnight. Was a long day for me, I was there since morning.

Selamat Hari Raya

Well, I'm glad the Raya holidays are over. Unlike most people, I had to work through the public holidays. Wasn't really heavy work, but I still had to go into the office on a holiday. I celebrate all holidays, my favorites are Saturdays and Sundays!

On the bright side, at least I got to some bigshot politicians (now is that really a bright side?). I was at the PWTC open house that Pak Lah hosted with all the cabinet ministers. I got to greet Pak Lah at the door, actually I was more like the lookout to see if he had already arrived.

The first cross over with Pak Lah in the morning was a little awkward. He flat out didn't want to say anything but after much persuasion (on live TV too!) he agreed. His assistant came to see us after that and said the feedback they got was that he didn't look very happy on air and asked if there was going to be another interview so I said, sure let's slot him in for the afternoon news. I was crouching in front of him and I reminded the guy to smile and he said, "Satu hari dah senyum, dah penat dah". Man, that cracked me up. The guy was greeting VIP's and the public the whole morning, he had facial muscle aches from smiling.

Look at Najib and Pak Lah's picture, I don't remember Najib being that short
compared to Pak Lah.

Ifa, me, Shafinaz and Azzura at PWTC on Hari Raya. We had to work. Me and
Ifa were floor managers. Ifa had to run down and catch Pak Lah for a live
cross-over on national TV.

Here's Pak Lah and the cabinet ministers greeting the VIP's on Hari Raya open house at PWTC. I was standing on the press stand when I took this. I met many politicians that day.

While waiting for the Hari Raya open house to start, I took a look at the UMNO Galery and I saw this potrait. Reminds me of Hang Tuah and his friends... now didn't one of his friends turn bad?

On the second day of Raya, me and Ifa when to visit Tun Dr. Mahathir for his open house. Was raining cats and dogs when we got there. Was quite a number of dignitaries at his house too. I met a few old colleagues there too. Besides the controversy between Tun and Pak Lah, I have all the respects for both men. Tun, I admire because he's the prime minister I grew up with and Pak Lah because he's my prime minister now.

Me, and Ifa with the man! You da Man Tun!

This is the view behind Tun Dr. Mahathir's house. I took this picture during his Hari Raya open house. You can see the Mines lake behind it. Beautiful view isn't it?

Here's a picture of me with a Porsche Cayenne Turbo. It cost roughly about RM850,000. I think this one belongs to Datuk Mokzani, Tun's son. Tun has a nicer Cayenne park in the garage that Mokzani gave to him. Mokzani owns the Porsche dealership.

I got to meet Datuk Siti Nurhaliza too. She came on the show. I was shitting in my pants because she came late, but it was all good in the end. Siti is an extremely nice person. What you see on TV is what you get in real life. She's quite shy too, the kind of girl you can take home to meet your parents... wait, she's married already! Anyway... I'm not a big fan that would shout "Sitiiiii!". I just admire her Siti franchise. She's build a legion of fans and also a good business empire to capitalize on it. Way to go Siti, fame and sucess... and still humble. You deserve a Datukship.

Me and Datuk Siti Nurhaliza! Ahhhh... Sitiiiiiiiiii! Okay, just joking. Not a major fan but I do admire the Siti 'franchise'. A legion of fans makes for good business. She was in the studio and I took a picture with her.

Me and Datuk Siti Nurhaliza. She's a really nice person in real life, very shy. First time I shook her hand, she had a very firm handshake. She gave me an autographed CD from her Cerita Cinta album.

Azean with Datuk Siti Nurhaliza after the show. She gave really 'safe' answers during the interview. A real pro at work here. However, she's really a nice person. No real dirt to dig up, because there's none.

Memories

This is a picture of me during my university days eons ago with two of my japanese friends. Both their names were Mayumi. We were all dressed up for Spring Break. It was a river cruise. I wasn't really happy but I'll explain later.

Tonight I was watching The Apprentice and the challenge was to have a tailgating party at Rutgers University. Donald Trump mentioned that, "All university students want to do is get drunk and have sex". Well, that wasn't my own experience. After the show ended, I ended up going through friendster and I ran through the search for university and I thought about my own university experience.

I didn't drink much alcohol (I admit it, I can't hold my own liqour). Once, I bought a can of miller lights (those damn TV adverts!) home to drink in my room and the next thing I remember was waking up with 3/4's of the can still full. There was no sex, because only the crazy white people join frats you needed alcohol to get laid at their party. My uni wasn't really good with their football team (That's American football, not soccer). My university was the home of the huskies, they were an iceskating team and they were regular regional champs. However, I didn't quite iceskating either.

The friends I had were Malaysian students and the other Asian foreign students consisting mostly of Mainland China, Japanese, Indonesians, Thais, and countries near the Indian continent.

Anyway, back to my story of the two Mayumi's. Seems that Mayumi's quite a common name in Japan. Both as you can see from the picture are really cute. Why is that, chinese girls are wired genitally to find Japanese girls cute? Anyway... I have to admit I had a crush on the both of them, the worst part was the two girls were dating good friends of mine. The funny part of course was, these two guys were identical twins from Thailand. They had an older brother Joe who could see I wasn't feeling really happy about it. I was sitting by the dockside alone watching the sun go down (damn, so drama right?) and Joe came over and smiled and said he knew what I was thinking and I smiled but we didn't say it. Both of us just sat there and looked at the beautiful sunset. Anyway, the restaurant and the dock, The Pirate's Cove burned down in a fire a few years ago.

Till today, I think I was much closer to Joe. We had the same personalities and the same sense of humour. Once I opened his closet and he had pictures of semi-naked women on it with their personal autographs. I asked him how did he get those and he showed me. He printed a picture of a chick he found on the internet and signed it himself... the bastard.

Once, me and Joe and a few of our other friends when down to the local strip club. I've read about it in the local papers. The local sororities and Christian groups used to protest daily outside it. It seems that some of the gals in my uni were working there to support themselves too. We thought it'll be fun to see it ourself. So we drove there one night to see what was it like.

The cover charge was pretty steep and it came with one drink. They didn't have an alcohol license anymore so it was watered down coke. It was dark and had a heavy smell of perfume. We took seats along the center and we brought small dollar bills with us (hey, we were cheapskate students). The deal was simple, if you put a dollar in front of you, the girl would walking up and down the center would dance in front of you. I think we got it wrong though, because everytime we saw the ugliest one, we'll drop a dollar in front of our friends and have her dance in front of him. Watching our friend cringe when the girl dance for him was much more entertaining.

The girls would occasionally walk up to you and ask if you would like a lap dance. They'll sit on your lap and dance, they can touch you, you can't touch them. I didn't have any money and they had way too much perfume on. When I when to the toilet, all the stalls had no doors. I was wondering why was that, until I realized where I was and I had a good laugh in there.

Anyway, looking back. It's all but memories now. Some were sad, some were fun but they were all me. We are the sums of our experiences and memories.

Computer Sakit

My computer also got fever. There's a slow cancer eating the hard disk, it's got bad sector. Damn. Its got 12kb of bad sector and every program I run has errors. Looks like I have to get a new hard disk. Time to say bye-bye to this hard disk. I wonder what I can do with an almost dead hard disk.

The other sucky part is the computer shops don't open till Thursday. Damnit, I gotta wait 4 days before getting a new hard disk.

Fever... again!

I'm just recovering from a fever. Still feel a little weak. I came down with fever yesterday during Deepavali. The worst part is, I had to work. I had to wake up at 4:45AM, reach the office at 6AM and leave for Klang. I had stay there till 2PM. We had 2 X-Overs, one in the morning and the other one at noon. In between that, I started feeling really weak.

I tried taking a nap in the van but it was parked next to this guy's shop blasting Deepavali music. I was shivering and I tell ya, it wasn't very comfortable. I had to put up with my studio director's endless stream of complains about racism. At that point, I didn't give a damn anymore and I just wanted to go home.

The driver had left the airconditioning running the whole morning and I think it sucked in all the smog because on the way back, my headache got even worst as the airconditioning was blowing in my face.

When I did reach home, the first time I did was wash my face and hands and jumped into bed. For the next 24 hours, I had the strangest dreams and hallucinations. The dreams kept repeating itself. It wasn't anything scarry, just mundane stuff. I kept dreaming I had to make a booking for an OB Van and I couldn't decide what equipment to bring. That dream was in constant loop everytime I shut my eyes. Was driving me nuts.

My nephew and nieces were screaming outside too and that didn't help. I didn't want to sleep but I was just so tired. Right now, I still have a slight headache and my blood pressure is a bit low. I feel dizzy everytime I stand up.

This is a view of Jalan Tengku Kelana, Klang on Deepavali. Notice the cables running next to the motorcycle? We had to lay camera cables along the street. The drains here are full of leftover curry and its foaming too. Really gross. Especially when you're sick and all you want to do is go home where it's safe and 'clean' in your room.

Some Pictures

My niece with my nephew's spiderman head gear. Spider girl ready to fight crime!

Batman and Spider girl, ready to save the world.

I don't eat McDonalds that often anymore, maybe once every 3 months. I watched that documentary Supersized Me and it totally turned me of from eating it. Anyway, I had to eat this one because I was really hungry that day.

Look at what the haze did to the sunset. Took this picture as I was driving out of my office.

The Challenge

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a contestant in The Apprentice. You know, that reality game show with Donald Trump saying, "You're Fired" at the end of each episode. In each episode, the contestants have to do a challenge and every episode is different and that's how I feel my job is like. I'm a jack of all trades, masters of none.

Today, I had to produce a live event and it a medium scale sized program. As usual, nothing when as planned during the show. We plan for the best, but sometimes the Broadcasting God doesn't like you. Maybe we didn't sacrifice any virgins these time... hard time find one these days hehe.

I hate sitting in that little OB 4 van. Its a small truck and a pressure pot with everyone shouting orders at each other. Streams of SMS are coming into my phone; the walkie-talkie is buzzing; the floor manager asking what's next; the hosts can't hear me... I wish I could telephatically just download information into their head all at the same time. Kinda like the collective the Borgs have in Star Trek.

Anyway, things ended okay with some glitches. Audio on ground event was of, but was okay on air... thank goodness. My two main host wandered of after the show and I couldn't find them, so I thought screw it, I'll go of without them then. Phew... as the contestants would say, "I'm ready to step-up" haha.

Miami Vice



Check out the difference in the original Miami Vice series and the movie. I watched it today. I liked how Micheal Mann's directing. He's got a really gritty reality TV style. The movie didn't even have an opening montage. Right after the UIP logo, they started right into the story in a night club. The fire fights in the movie was done really well too. It was like watching a embedded reporter shooting a real police fire fight. If you looked at Gong Li, she when for the natural look without any makeup, she's got that natural beauty to pull it of. I love the lighting in the movie. Lots of low lights, was done very well without any blue gel.

Way to go Micheal Mann! Oh yeah, I didn't like the censored part in the movie. maybe watch the DVD later to see what was censored.

Haze and Buka Puasa

They say you have to 'bersabar' a lot during Ramadan. However, one thing that's getting my blood boiling is the damn haze. The Indonesian president may have apologized, but action certainly speaks louder than words. If it wasn't for the Singaporeans writing to them, they wouldn't have said anything.

Let me put it this way, the Indonesians are trying to kill me. I know, it's harsh but for someone with a sinus problem, that's exactly what they're doing. I'm boycotting all Indonesian products from now on until I see positive steps taken to stop the haze.

I when for a walk in the park at Taman Tun, it was quite hazy. I know, was a bad idea but I needed the exercise. I only made it one round around the park. I really need more exercise!

Look at jogging trek. They tore it all up. It turned into an obstacle course half way around the park. I had to avoid tripping while keeping a constant walking speed.

We had a buka puasa for the team at Restoran Seri Melayu. Not really keen on Malay food, but the company was better then the food.

I have no idea what they were talking about, the background noise was just too loud. I must be loosing my hearing.