Tuesday, May 27, 2008

hello

I have a feeling my private compartmentalized life is colliding. It used to be my anonymous identity on the Internet was secure. I now find that soon people from other compartments in my life is encroaching into other areas.

I organize my life into a few separate compartments. I'm a privacy freak, I separate my life into work, family, personal friends, and my persona on the Internet.

A few days ago, someone at work asked me about my flickr account. I never told anyone about it before. I'm thinking, if they know my facebook and flickr account, they probably read this blog then.

My worlds are colliding, its harder to secure information about my life. The security leaks are my own faults. Maybe subconsiously i want it all to merge.

It used to be many years ago, I discovered emails back in the mid 90's. Then I discovered IRC. It opened a whole new world to me. My whole social life was on the Internet. The keyboard was an extension of my brain. I began to interact with the world through it. i had virtual friends; I fell in love with someone I never met on the Internet; I bought things through Internet sites. For many years, I lived in the matrix. I was physically in front of a monitor and my hands were glued to a keyboard. It was safe interaction.

when I started working, it was a strange world for me. I had to physically interact with people. By then I had forgotten or never really learned a lot of social skills I should have known. It was hard, people thought I was aloof as I didn't want to talk. The truth was, I was afraid. I was afraid of interacting with someone, with anyone in the real world. In the cyberworld, I was just a nickname and an idea. They only saw the words I typed. There was no body language; no smell; no beauty to behold. Just words. My world was safe in my cocoon.

Now things have changed. I'm learning to to interact physically with the world. Its not perfect but I'm trying. If i don't talk to you it doesn't mean I don't like you (actually, it could) it just means I don't know what to say to you.

So I say it here, hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

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